Depression is no joke

People that deal with depression know how hard it can be to deal with things on a daily basis. People that don’t deal with it have no idea that people with depression are on the edge of self destruction.

One word or phrase can set them off. Take me for example, I’ve been suffering with depression for awhile which I hate to admit but I feel it’s important to be honest. A lot of things in my life have me down and the people I rely on the most are my support system. Sometimes however, those people can hurt you the most by saying something that can ruin your whole day. Everyday It feels like I want to cry, so when someone I care about deeply says something that could be hurtful even if they’re kidding, it destroys me. I want to crawl in bed and not come out.

Some people think it’s bs and that I can just turn off my depression but it doesn’t work that way. Those people will never understand.

If you know someone who suffers with depression, listen to them. Don’t turn your back on them.

Remembering Selena

So I have to get this off my chest. I watched Selena today, I’m not sure if you remember who she was. If not I’ll give you a little background. She was a Mexican American girl that was an up and coming singer. She won the hearts of millions of people before her tragic death in 1995. She was shot dead by the president of her fan club. Selena was only 23.

When I watched the movie today it moved me in so many ways. First happiness, then anger, and ended by sadness. This girl had everything. Her family started singing when they were very young. Her brother played the bass and her sister played the drums. They were only kids when they started out. As Selena grew, so did her voice. They started playing locally and then eventually hit the big time. She made it big in Mexico and is considered the highest earned Latina woman ever. She was doing her crossover album when she was killed.

I was so pissed off! This girl was amazing and she was just starting to live her life. Then this jealous woman comes along and shoots her for a reason that was just plain old stupid. To this day it upsets me. She could’ve went on and been something big, even more so then she was, but because of someone’s stupidity she died. You just never know what life is going to throw at you. You could be going along your way successfully, and then bang your dead. I don’t think I’ll ever get over her death. Every time the movie is on (starring Jennifer Lopez) I have to watch it, and every time it cuts deep inside of me. Maybe I’m being crazy but I thought she was a very talented woman. She sang she danced and she even designed her own clothes.

She found the love of her life and married him when she was only 20. He was the guitarist for the group. They lived happily together until her life was cut short. Him and the family were devastated. I don’t know why it bothered me so much today more then any other day. I needed to get this off my chest. I feel so saddened for the family and for her husband because of someones cowardice. That woman will spend the rest of her life in prison. I’m sorry for going off on a tangent but it cuts like a knife when I think how multi-talented she was and how she was taken away from us.

Selena Quintanilla-Perez 4/16/71-3/31/95

Rest Easy

Review # 4 Ready Player One

This review is geared toward the book Ready Player One, not the movie. I have yet to see the movie because I like to read the book first. So let me delve right into it…

I personally gave the book a 5 star rating! At first it was hard to get into because their were so many things going on. Once I passed the first chapter I got really into it. The main character was described so much in detail that I felt like I knew him personally. All the other characters were equally very describable. The one character who was a girl called Art3mis was probably one of my favorites because well it was a girl. the book is based on a video game called the OASIS, which is basically a program that James Halliday conjured up before he passed away. He decided to make a running contest after he passed on that if a Gunter (which is a gamer) could collect these magical keys then they could get his company. That basically sums it up.

The main character Parzival (Wade Wilson) is this geeky high school kid and they live in this world where virtual reality is the norm. They boot up and then all day they’re succumbed to a virtual world. The United States and the world is basically a shit-hole now so that’s why the virtual reality makes life so much more enjoyable.

I had so much fun reading this book just because I love video games. The idea that it takes place in the future and that virtual reality is the norm just seemed crazy but hey you never know. I thought the concept was pretty outlandish. Could you imagine a world where you go into a virtual reality world and that’s the norm? I can’t haha that just seems far out. I thought it was cool though.

I can’t wait to watch the movie now! I heard it was good but I haven’t much more than that. The movie came out the same time as the superhero movies so they’re more popular. This movie had a lot of everything: Action, drama, suspense, even some romance. I enjoyed it very much, that’s why I gave it a five star rating.

M.

Disney Vacation

Wooohooo I survived Disney!! Six grueling days of walking and rides and I survived lol…I had such a blast though. I would probably do it again but not for years to come.

I enjoyed spending time with my family and my nephews. They were so cute, my youngest nephew who is ten was of course ten, meaning he was acting his age. Making fun of everything I was doing and what I looked like haha but hey he’s ten that’s expected. My other two nephews were a little older and they were fine. They just wanted to ride the rides. It was just really nice to get away.

The plane ride going there was fine. I was scared to death but my lovely mother bought me a drink so I could calm my nerves, which helped. I didn’t mind the flight at all. Heading home however, was a different story. We had to get up at three a.m. and be out front of the resort at three-thirty. My mom and I were exhausted. We arrived at the airport and our flight was supposed to be at 6:55, but it was delayed by about a half hour.  My brother and his family drove the nineteen hour drive home. I was grateful that our flight was two hours. Which was enough for me because I didn’t enjoy the flight home. I gave my mom a break by not freaking out on the plane. Instead I freaked out inside my head. I was thinking the worse of everything lol…but that’s just me. Anyways we made it home safe and I was super happy. Tired but happy.

So let me tell you what my favorite ride was and the worst was in my opinion. My favorite ride was the banshee ride in Pandora. OMG it was so real. It was amazing! It really felt like you were flying. You could smell the ocean and feel the breeze in your face. It was incredible! I don’t think nothing will ever compare to this ride. A close second was Soarin’. They put you in a chair with a harness and you sit there and you take off but there is a movie screen surrounding you and it felt like you were flying. You could smell the the different things and feel the wind blowing. It was pretty amazing! It took you around the world to different sites like the seven wonders of the world.

The worst ride I think was the Nemo one. Now first of all I love Nemo the movie, it was such a cute movie but the ride ugh. Second of all, we had to wait in this god awful line that was about an hour wait. When we finally get there we sit down and the ride lasted about 30 seconds and then it was over. I was so disappointed, but what could I expect for a kid ride. Also we did Mission: Space, which is in Epcot. There is a less intense ride and more intense ride. The first time we went to Epcot my mom and I went on the less intense ride and that was fine. The second time we went we decided to do the more intense ride and that was horrible for me. I was so dizzy and I couldn’t enjoy the ride at all. For me it was like when you drank a lot and had the spins. It was terrible. My mom thought it was fine but me, no way. I’ll never get on that ride again if I ever go again.

If you’re heading to Disney, prepare to walk a lot. Make sure you wear comfortable shoes as well and hydrate. I went there and it was hot and I was sweating and I went through so much water. I had comfy shoes with me but my feet were still killing me. I feel like you should train as if you’re going on a marathon haha. We calculated that we walked about ten miles a day, so by the end we walked around sixty miles! Can you believe it!?

Other than that, it was a great trip! We went to Hollywood studios, Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and Epcot. My favorite was Animal Kingdom. It had real animals and the rides were fun and of course they had the Tree of Life, which was amazing! Magic Kingdom was my least favorite because it was so crowded. If it wasn’t so crowded I would have enjoyed it more, but it was surrounded with screaming babies, toddlers, and kids. Loads and loads of kids. We did have dinner at Be Our Guest at the Beast’s castle which was neat. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie, so I was excited to eat there. We even got to meet the Beast and had our picture taken with him. It was great! All the roller coasters were fun too! If you’re into that.

All in all if you’re thinking about going to Disney, you should go!

P.S. The parade was amazing!

I swear by this…

I have to get this off my chest. It’s something wonderful don’t worry. Since February, I’ve been having this annoying issue with my mouth. I had thrush and it was off and on since February. I thought it was super strange that I kept on getting it. At the time I had a massive sinus infection. So on Super Bowl Sunday, when the Eagles were playing the Patriots, I dragged my husband to Urgent Care. I felt god awful and had a fever. They said at that time I had thrush and possibly the flu. They wouldn’t test me for the flu though because it was expensive. They gave me a prescription for the thrush and they gave me me Tamiflu. I ended up not taking the Tamiflu because I didn’t believe I had the flu. So I took the thrush medicine and it was cleared. The sinus infection wasn’t going away, so I went to my regular family doctor. They gave me a Z-pack and sent me on my merry way. I took the medicine and and when it was finished, I was fine for a couple days but the sinus infection came back.

I went back to the doctor and they gave me amoxicillin. I started taking that and soon after the thrush returned. I told the doctor and he gave me a pill form. However, I was taking heavy duty probiotics and my thrush went away. After I was done with the amoxicillin I started having issues with my stomach, which if people take amoxicillin then they know it can disturb your digestive system. The thrush came back yet again! At this point I was getting really frustrated, because I was in pain. So then I decided to take the pill form medication for the thrush. It didn’t really work, it just kept it at bay.

By this time I was super frustrated. The doctor told me that I should get some blood work done, because they were concerned. I’m a HUGE hypochondriac and of course I started freaking out. I did however, get the blood work done. That was two weeks ago. I have an appointment this week to discuss but I know there is nothing wrong because of the portal. The blood work was pretty much normal, so I don’t really have anything to worry about. At this point, I didn’t know why I kept on getting the thrush.

A week ago, I felt like shit. My mouth was in pain, meaning not my teeth, it was the thrush.

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD!

My mom contacted my aunt who is really into homeopathic remedies. She told my mom about oil pulling. Which you swish a specific oil, in my case MCT oil in your mouth for twenty minutes. I must tell you after I did that. I felt instant relief. I started taking a candida supplement which is a godsend. My mouth has done a complete 180 and I feel great. The MCT oil you also take 1 tablespoon a day. I do that as well, I make sure I eat something before I do so, because it can make your stomach uncomfortable.

My thrush was all cleared but there is still something going in there. I went to a dentist that my parents go to and he checked my mouth and saw nothing. Please note: He didn’t take X-rays. He referred me to an oral surgeon since he didn’t see anything. So I go to the oral surgeon, and again he didn’t take any x-rays. He looked all around my mouth and he said there’s nothing going on. I would think that all these dentists and doctors would at least take an x-ray to rule out anything. It’s like if you have a sore arm, your primary doctor would ask you to get an x-ray. It’s just weird. So now this week I have another appointment with a completely different dentist who has great reviews. Hopefully he’ll take x-rays, which I’m sure they will.

The MCT oil however, is definitely making me feel 99% better. If I didn’t have this weird taste in one part of my mouth I would be completely 100! Hopefully soon I will be. Maybe all I need is a cleaning, it’s been about a year so I’m overdue. Just tired of mouth issues.

Oh and before I forget, the thrush that I was getting all the time is because of stress. I am overwhelmed in my life by various things and the candida I was diagnosed with caused the thrush to happen. I’m trying to manage my stress. I just wanted to let you know MCT oil really does work, it’s a miracle. Without it I would be in terrible shape.

MCT is derived from Coconut oil. It is really beneficial to your health and can do some good for you and your body. It’s good for your digestion and it’s even good for weight management among other things. I’m grateful that my aunt recommended this to me.

 

M.

Review # 3 Fly Away

Fly Away

I read the final book in the Firefly Lane series. Fly Away was in my opinion a really great book. It was so heart-warming and touched me in the right spot. The writing was excellent and I fell in love with the characters.

THIS WILL HAVE SPOILERS!!

So the journey continues with Tully and Kate but after Kate passes away. Tully is destroyed by the loss of her best friend and she doesn’t know how to cope. Kate’s husband Johnny is beyond upset by his wife’s death and he doesn’t know how to handle their 3 kids. Marah who is the elder daughter of Johnny and Kate, spirals out of control with the passing of her mom’s death.

The story focuses on Tully and Marah. Tully is her godmother and promises to be there for her but Tully becomes a total recluse. She starts taking Xanax and drinking excessively. Marah wants to leave her family and move in with Tully. Tully agrees but Johnny is beside himself. He doesn’t want his family apart but he reluctantly agrees to it. They move to Seattle and Marah notices that Tully is out of control. She takes Marah to therapy because she feels it would be good for her to talk about her mother.

When she goes to therapy she meets a boy who ends up destroying Marah’s life. She moves out of Tully’s apartment and in with her new boyfriend.  They start drinking a lot and doing drugs. She stops talking to Tully and to her family. She starts to spiral out of control.

The story takes a turn when Tully crashes into a wall and ends up in a coma. She sees herself in the hospital room with her lifeless body surrounded by doctors and sometimes by family. Kate comes to her and Tully is so happy to see her. They relive their experiences of their childhood and Tully’s mother. The relationship of Tully and her mother, if you read the first book, you know is strained. In this book, they talk about Tully’s mother and how she ended up the way she did. In the end of the story Tully is being taken care of by her mother and is living in the house she grew up on Firefly Lane. Tully comes out of her coma when she hears the sound of Marah reading the journal of Kate.

To me I thought this story was amazing. They brought everyone together. I enjoyed reading about each character and how each one had a purpose. From Kate’s parents to Kate’s family and even to Tully’s mother. It made me laugh, it made me cry. It was definitely a feel good book. If you read Firefly Lane then you should read Fly Away. Although the journey of Kate and Tully are over, I’ll always have a special spot in my heart for them. Well done Hannah!

M.

As it Goes

I love to write, I can’t think of anything else I would rather do. I know most of you know that I have a full time job as a receptionist and it’s boring tedious work. This morning I woke up and I rolled out of bed dreading I had to be here. I know people say, “Hey, if you don’t like something then change it.” I wish I could do that, but unfortunately until I sign a contract for my books I can’t do anything. I have to do what I have to do to make money.

It’s been so long since I even blogged. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me because it’s my life. I chose the path I’m walking down. I’m just tired. I want to do what makes me happy, but money is the root of all evil.

So anyway, I started writing a new novel and it’s completely different then what I usually write. I tend to stay with the Young Adult books, but this time I decided to stray. Who knows though, it could turn into something else. That always seems to happen to me. I’m excited to see how it will turn out. I am however, going to take my time with this one. I have to be honest, the first novel I wrote Braver Than Yesterday, I coasted through it. I did get a good response from the book, but honestly it’s a mess. It’s all over the place and it didn’t get really good reviews. Hey I get it, it’s my first novel. It was my first try. Someone destroyed me with a brutally honest review on Goodreads. They gave me one star, if they could give me no stars they probably would have. I was upset at first but then I thought, hey it’s someones opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. I took it in stride and wrote a response back that was nothing but professional. I could’ve flipped out, but what’s the point? That’s not what I’m about. I just take it and learn from it and put my heart into the next novel.

My second novel From Within, I feel is a much better novel. Not many people read that one, but the people that did really enjoyed it. I was excited when I saw a review on Goodreads for that book. It was four stars and I was like yes! I’m hoping more people will check out my second book, because I have the sequel Forward to the Past out. Well it’s not technically out yet because I’m trying to get it out there with publishers/agents. It’s not an easy process. You have to get the query and the synopsis perfectly. The pitch is the most important. From Within is just really different because it has to do with spirits and I know how people feel about that. Maybe that’s why they don’t want to read it, but it’s geared towards young adults and teens. It’s a fantasy, magical story. I just want people to understand that.

…if dreams come true it will happen 🙂

It’s here

So my new book Forward to the Past is now available on Kindle and in paperback on Amazon. This book is the sequel to From Within, which I explained earlier in my last post. If you want to check it out just go to my shop header on my page and click on it and it will take you right to it!

Hope everyone enjoys it!

M.

Book Promo

Hey there my fellow readers!

I wanted to let you know that starting tomorrow 2/1 thru 2/3, I will be doing a FREE book promo for my novel From Within on Kindle. The reason for this decision is because I finally finished the sequel which is called Forward to the Past. It will be out next week sometime, if I’m lucky sooner then that.

Please share and pass this around! I can’t wait for this book to come out. I’ve been working on it for awhile and at times it was super hard. My mind would go blank and then I couldn’t write for awhile. I always take a break for a little bit if something like that happens to me.

I’ll give you a little sneak peak into what to expect:

Bianca Yates, who is the daughter of Chelsea can see spirits from the time she is born. When she graduates, she moves to San Diego to live with her grandmother. She falls in love with a guy who actually has the same gift as she does. They stumble upon a portal and  they jump in not knowing to expect…

That’s all I’m going to give you. It’s pretty different then the first one but it ties in together.

Thanks everyone for the support!

M.