To be honest..

Everyday is different, I could feel fine one day and the next be depressed. My life is pretty normal, I get up, go to work, and then I go home relax. If I’m lucky go to a yoga class, I go home and then I go to bed. It’s the same thing day in and day out. Of course I squeeze writing in there somewhere because I don’t feel right without it. Today I just feel blah, straight up blah. I just want to crawl in bed and never come out. There are things in my life that are going on that I can’t really discuss because they are too personal but they are dragging me down. I want to be an accomplished writer and everyday I write to a dozen agents and some email back telling me I really enjoyed your story but it’s not for me. Others don’t even bother to even reply, which I totally get. They’re incredibly busy. If I could just have one thing go right in my life I would be super happy. But it just seems like one thing after another is falling apart. I feel like I’m at my breaking point with everything, my faith these days are at an all time low.

I’m sorry some of you will probably be like I hope she’s okay. Yes I’m fine and I will be fine. Sometimes I just need to vent. Today it’s just getting to me and everyone that is smiling at me I just want to punch in the face, I know it’s not funny, but it’s kind of funny. I looked at the calendar today and I graduated 17 years ago today. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was so excited to start my journey to adulthood. Now I sit here and I’m not where I thought I would be. I thought I would have an amazing career and be sitting pretty with a successful husband and maybe a couple kids. Today I don’t have an amazing career and my husband isn’t successful, although he’s doing what he loves, and I still don’t have any kids. Maybe that’s a good thing. I know they say it’s never to late to start a career but eh really? I’m in my 30’s, I want to be a writer, it’s all I want to do. It’s hard though, really hard. I know things take time but how much time because some days I feel like I’m drowning.

Inspiration..

Tell me what inspires you? Some days I find it hard to get inspired. I know it seems like I’m all smiles and rainbows but today I just feel like blah. I’m tired, cold, and cranky and I just wish I could crawl back into my bed. I know today is Monday so that definitely doesn’t help.

I should write but I just don’t feel like it. I don’t have the inspiration pulling at me like I normally do, yes I’m human, yes not everyone feels sparkly. I’m really cold today because this office is freezing, even with a space heater, so that doesn’t help me at all with creative ideas.

I should listen to some amazing music to help lift my spirits, I think some tea would really help too to warm the bones.

Does anyone have any recommendations to help you get inspired? Maybe we can learn from each other. Have to try and get through this Monday! Have a good one everyone!

M.

Have You Ever…

Have you ever just felt just blah? Today is one of those days. I am trying to be as positive as I can be but I think it’s normal to just have one of those days. I’m just tired and I want to go back to sleep. I’m pretty sure everyone knows what I’m talking about. I don’t think you would be human if you didn’t have one of those days. 

I woke up this morning and the first thing that popped out of my mouth was “it’s a new day.” However, after saying it was a new day I felt like things were just going wrong. The dogs wouldn’t listen to me when I wanted them to go out and do their morning business, I received an email that was just bad, and to top it off there was nothing for breakfast. I know these things happen so I’ll just try and truck through the day. On an end note I hope everyone else has a wonderful day! Think happy thoughts 😊