Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Shattered

My heart is broken. I am 9 weeks pregnant and I had my viable ultrasound today. This is my second one in two weeks. The doctor came in and checked and said that the baby stopped growing and they couldn’t locate a heartbeat. Therefore, no change since the 24th. We have to terminate the pregnancy. On top of that, I have a cervical polyp the size of a grape and that is causing bleeding. I am not having a wonderful time right now. I feel broken and shattered into a million pieces.

Four years ago I had a miscarriage and that one wasn’t viable either. I had to terminate that one as well. It just feels like a never ending cycle for me. I think I am done trying this baby thing. I am just not meant to be a mom to a baby. I have furbabies, so that is my number one job right now. I can live with that. It just hurts that this time there was actual life growing inside me, unlike four years ago, there was an empty sac. My baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Have not a clue why, but I feel like it’s my fault. I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but of course I can’t help it. My husband is upset too of course, so we have each other. I am glad I have the support system I do. If this is happening to you, please feel free to reach out. We can support each other. There are not enough women that aren’t talking about this. It’s life changing and and earth shattering all at once.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Book Review: The Four Winds

SPOIL ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The book I am reviewing today is The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah, who personally is my favorite author and where I get a lot of my inspiration from. Let’s get into it.

The story is about Elsa a sickly girl who comes from a rich family who can’t stand her. Elsa’s sisters are married with children, but her parents make her out to be very ugly and sickly who will never marry.

One glorious day, Elsa had enough and decided she had enough of being treated so poorly so she went to a speak easy. Oh and before I forget, this takes place in the 1930’s during the Great Depression. Anyway, Elsa tries to go to the speak easy and she wasn’t allowed in because her father was a head honcho in town and everyone was afraid of him, so they knew if she was let in, they would be in trouble. Elsa decided to walk the streets alone in the night and meets Rafe. He seems like a great guy and Elsa finds him very attractive. They end up sleeping together and of course Elsa ends up being pregnant. Her parents take her to Rafe’s house and drop her at their doorstep and leave her there to deal with.

The parents of Rafe are sweet and hard working farmers. They have built land for themselves after coming over from Italy. They are very devout catholic and so Rafe and Elsa were to be married immediately.

When Elsa had her baby girl Loreda, she was so happy. She always wanted to be a mother. As the years went by Rafe became more and more depressed. They had another baby, which was a boy named Anthony (Ant). However, his parents treated Elsa like the daughter they never had. One morning they woke up from one of there terrible dust storms they had in Texas and Rafe was gone. Loreda blamed Elsa because Rafe wanted to go to California to start a new life.

Years went by and Elsa wasn’t going to leave but then Anthony got really sick from dust pneumonia. She knew she had to make a choice and took her two kids and went to California. When they arrived, they were met with torture and no money. It was devastating from the moment they got there. Elsa tried to remain strong but it was hard.

In the end, she met Jack who was a communist who wanted to stick up for the migrants. They weren’t getting equal pay or a place to live. Jack and Elsa ended up together, but she eventually died from a gun shot would due to protesting.

Here is what I think about this book:

The book is full of drama, full of smiles, full of laugher, and full of tears.

I loved this book so much for many reasons, but I couldn’t believe the terrible way people had to endure through the Great Depression. It makes me look at things in a completely different way.

Elsa was a strong brave character. She was full of life and she loved her children more than anything. She would do anything for them. It was very refreshing.

Loreda was brave and full of fire. She had so much passion and so much fight.

Ant was a child, but he always stayed by their side. He would say he wasn’t a baby and he would put on a brave face.

I give this book 4 out 4 stars. I loved it!

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Book Review/Dead of Winter

I’m doing my book review on Dead of Winter by Darcy Coates. If you don’t want to hear how review, just scroll along 🙂

SPOIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I first started reading Dead of Winter, I was really excited. The books I read by Darcy Coates so far were amazing. I loved her style of writing and also I am a big fan of horror. This book however, kind of threw me off. It started off with Christa and her boyfriend Kiernan going for what seemed like a romantic getaway to a lodge in the middle of the nowhere. However, it didn’t happen that way. The bus that they took along with other travelers were stranded because a tree had fallen and they couldn’t make it to the lodge. The travelers decided to try and get out of the snow storm that was coming down and they found a cabin. Not before Christa and Kiernan were separated from the group. Christa fell down an embarkment and was injured and she and Kiernan were then separated.

Christa made it back to a cabin that the group was nestled in and was abandoned. She wanted to look for Kiernan, but he was long gone and missing. With the blizzard of a snow storm, it was impossible to find him. They had to wait it out to look for him.

This is where the story takes a turn. One by one the people of the group get taken out. I mean they are murdered in cold blood. Nobody knows who is doing this and everyone is freaking out. In the meantime, they think that it’s one of their group that is staking out people’s lives. They fear for their lives and keep a close watch on each other. Many times they tried to escape the cabin to try and get help. They made it as far as the bus and saw a body laying on the ground without a head. Christa thought it was Kiernan and she found a ring in his pocket. She was even more upset because she thought he was going to propose to her. Christa wanted to stay with him but the storm was becoming wild again and they had to turn back to the cabin.

The days were running together and there were only a few of them left. It started with about 10 people. One night they managed to catch the killer and tied her up, but what they didn’t realize was that she wasn’t the killer at all. Christa came across her body mutilated. Christa took off when she saw a man Denny running after her with an axe. She ran as far as she could and made it to the lodge eventually. The doors were unlocked and dark but she was able to hide.

This is where a twist took place. Christa heard a struggle and Denny’s head rolled down the steps. She saw a man approaching her and it was Kiernan. She was so happy because she thought he had died. Until she realized that he was the killer.

The point of all of this, was Kiernan orchestrated this whole trip because his little brother drowned in a lake from a car accident and he was trapped. He wanted to pick off each person that had to do with his death. He left Christa for last. She managed to kill Kiernan and she was saved.

My thoughts

This book did have a lot of action in it. It did start off slow but then it picked up in the middle. The end of the book was the best part because it kept me on my toes. The book gave a lot of description which is great, but there were thing that didn’t make any sense. For example, when Christa was running away from Denny, she was using a flashlight and he could see the light and know where she was at all times. All in all I give this book 3.5 out of 5.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author · 1 Comment

Today

A year ago today, my dad passed away due to Covid. I am still so broken over it. It’s true what they say, it will never get easier, you just manage. I think about him everyday, and wish I could see him. I miss his smile, I miss his hugs, I miss his laugh, and the way he would make fun of me. I would come over to his house and a good song would come on and I would start dancing and he would say, “cause that’s what she does.” I’ll never forget that. It feels like only yesterday he said that.

I’m grateful I had this many years with my dad, but I wish I had more. He was in his seventies and he had pulmonary fibrosis, which covid attached itself too, making it nearly impossible to survive this. If he did, he would be suffering today. I miss him with all my being.

I wasn’t close to my dad for years, it wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I became close with him. My mom, dad, and me would spend every Saturday together. Now, it’s just my mom and I. I love my mom with all my heart. She is my best friend. We get together nearly everyday. I’m super grateful I still have her.

Today, I was getting in my car heading back to work, and the radio came on. The song ‘I just called, to say I love you,’ was on. I know deep in my heart that was from him. It was him telling me he loved me and he cares about me. Immediately tears started to form in my eyes. Later on today after work, my mom and I are going to his grave. We go almost every weekend.

Hold your loved ones tighter, because you never know when the last time you’ll see them. Unfortunately, due to covid I couldn’t see him, so it’s been over a year since I seen him. When he was in the hospital, I wasn’t allowed to visit him. It wasn’t until after he passed that we could see him. I go my closure and said goodbye to him, but I was slumped over his body sobbing. That was the hardest and saddest day of my life. I am now without my dad, who I miss more than anything.

I love you dad, may you Rest In Peace.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Happy New Year

Hey everyone! I know it’s been a while since I wrote. This year has a been a crazy year. So many things happened this year. For starters Covid hit hard in my family and we lost my father. We were super close and I still find it hard everyday that he’s not around. I miss him so much. Luckily I have my family for support.

Secondly my mom is super stressed about her mothers house being sold. My grandmother passed away last year 2020, so this affected her in so many ways. She lost one of her best friends that she could turn to besides me. My aunts live so far away and couldn’t help her with anything, and this affects her mentally as well as physically. I just worry about her so much. But a happy side, the house was sold so she doesn’t have to worry too much more about that.

Thirdly I’ve been struggling myself. I feel like physically and mentally I’m falling apart. I gained weight and whatever I do I can’t take it off. So this year I’m going to try my best to do better for myself, even if it’s a small change. I need to work on myself more and exercise more. I am big yoga person and I need to do more of that.

A good thing that is coming out of 2021 is that I’m learning to become a yoga instructor. I love yoga and I hope to teach other students one day. I want to make them feel good from the inside out. The way I feel when I come out of a yoga class.

What I hope to gain this year is more writing. I have several novels started and they all have been sitting there on my laptop unfinished. I hope to accomplish this year at least one to finish. It’s been a few years since my last novel was self published. However, I did have a short story published through an actual publisher. You can find that on Amazon and it’s called 25 Servings of Soop Volume II. My short story is called Dead End Drive.

That’s all for right now, I hope everyone has a happy new year and that you find happiness and peace within yourselves.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Is it hot in here?

So, I started watching Sex/Life on Netflix and I actually bulldozed right through it. If you haven’t seen the show you may want to scroll past.

Sex/Life is about a woman who lives in the burbs with her hunky husband and their two kids in this beautiful house in Connecticut. Billie is the woman’s name who is the main character. So Billie gets bored with her life and hasn’t been having the sex life that she so craves. So she starts thinking about her steamy past.

Billie takes out her laptop and starts a journal about her past relationship with Brad. Gorgeous Australian Brad with the hot body. Anyway, she writes in her blog about all the sex they had. I mean SO much sex.

Billies husband finds her journal and starts reading it and actually gets him off. Their sex life starts to get better and she doesn’t understand why. Their is a part in the show where he is in the kitchen and he opens the blog and reads about an amazing sex scene and he takes out his member and gets off, right there in the kitchen. I’m like OMG this is almost too much for me, but damn that was hot.

In my personal life, my sex life isn’t all that glamorous, but I watched this show and I was more then ravished and I pounced on my husband. I applaud the show for giving me a good sex life again.

Sex/Life was basically like watching one of those back in the day Cinemax pornos lol that is what I took from it. I however, enjoyed it very much. The story was a little wonky but that’s okay. The sex made up for it.

Did any of you watch this show? Let me know what you think. I know the show had bad reviews and I believe the only good thing that might save the show is the sex.

What you might not know, is that this was a true story. A woman decided to write her fantasies and her past sex life in her journal and her husband read it. They were fine coming out of all this, but if my husband read something in my journal, I know for sure he would not be okay with it.

That’s it for now guys! I hope you have a rocking day!

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author · 2 Comments

Maybe a fresh start?

Okay, so it has been a while since I wrote anything here. I have been struggling with the whole writing thing until last night.

So, I just got home and I had a glass of wine. I hopped on the couch to take in the crazy thunder storms that we were having and I glanced at the TV. I started watching this movie I never saw before or heard of. The movie is called How to Build a Girl. It’s about this teenage girl that seems to want to find herself. The movie seems to start off with the main character named Johanna, who seems a bit nerdy feeling depressed and hard on herself. She loves writing and somehow she stumbles upon this rock and roll critic magazine job. She’s only 16 or 17, and she becomes an instant success. She turns herself into this wild child. She dyes her hair bright red, wears bright red lipstick with full glam makeup, and dresses gothically. She called herself Dolly Wilde. Me personally, I loved it! The outfits the character wore would be what I would wear if I had the balls to. She wore fishnet stockings, short shorts, numerous different provocative tops. The girl could pull it off though.

The story took place in Ireland I think. I couldn’t quite grasp it. Anyway, the point of me writing about this is that the girl had a lot of ups and downs throughout. She was laughed at, made fun of by her so called co-workers, yet she bounced back and kicked ass in the writing world.

Now me personally, I’ve had a lot of struggles with writing lately. If you follow me on here, you know I have wrote a few books. However, I am a self published author. This got me thinking though, maybe I should blog more. Write about my personal self and/or things that I feel strongly about. I love writing, but something has me down.

I remember when I wrote my first novel, it took me literally two weeks to write. I can barely get two words in now in a given day.

Watching that movie last night, opened a door for me. I think it gave me a kick in the ass hopefully in the right direction. We shall see!

Look forward to writing to you soon 🙂

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Pulling it together

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been awhile, but life is crazy, especially with Covid going on. I have been reading a book that took literally six months to complete. I’m not even going to bother writing about it, because I didn’t think it was that good. Normally, if you follow me you know I would blog about the book I read and talk about it. I’m honestly not in that frame of mind these days.

On March 11th, my father passed away unexpectedly from Covid. I was extremely close with my dad, but since he contracted Covid, I haven’t seen him since February 6th. He was admitted in the hospital, where we weren’t allowed to see him, until after he died. I was beyond devastated since I couldn’t see him beforehand. I miss him everyday!

However, we have a puppy now. Well, he’s almost nine months old now. He’s a red Boston Terrier, named Murphy. He’s my cutie and I love him so much and he keeps me on my toes. He even has his own page on Instagram Murphy_the_turkey if you want to look him up. Anyway, right now he’s my saving grace.

I just wanted to check in with everyone and I hope you are safe. I’m going to start reading a new book, so hopefully I’ll get back to reviewing books again.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Sad Day

So yesterday 8/9, my English Bulldog, Buddy passed away unexpectedly. I am devastated. He was eight years old, to be nine in December. He didn’t have any health issues, except for the occasional allergies and mites. This is what happened:

We were getting ready to go on vacation, heading to Vermont, which is where we are right now. We packed up our things and took our beloved Bulldog Buddy and our Cairn Terrier, Zoe. We had the air on because it’s summer and bulldogs are always hot and overheated. We stopped halfway through, which the trip total was 4.5 hours. We let the dogs out to do their business and we gave them both water to drink. Buddy seemed fine at this point.

Towards the last stretch of our trip to Vermont, something went wrong it seemed. Buddy started to pant hard and was even making a gasping sound. We just thought maybe it was normal, because he’s a bulldog and he has breathing issues. Especially when we go on trips. He gets high anxiety because he doesn’t know where he’s going.

Anyway we arrive in Vermont and at the vacation spot that we are staying and he seems like he’s panting A LOT! I have seen him pant before, but this was too much. He was making a whistling sound and he sounded upset, like he was whimpering. He couldn’t catch his breath at all. I tried to give him water, he would drink, but then he would just throw it up. His tongue would turn purple in and out. My husband and I had no idea what to do. We decided it was time to call a vet in the area. We spoke to someone on call and they said to give him Benadryl and that it was normal. This did not seem NORMAL. He couldn’t breath. The nearest 24/7 hospital for animals was 2 hours away! Can you believe that, two hours! How do they not have any emergency vets close? It boggles my mind. In PA where I live, there are two hospitals for animals in a 10 min vicinity.

So anyway, we tried giving him water and the Benadryl, which we finally were able to give him. All of a sudden his legs gave out and he couldn’t walk. That’s when we knew something serious happened. We searched online and saw there was a “supposed” 24/7 vet right down the road, and we drove there. Buddy was panting heavily in the back seat and I was trying to call the hospital to tell them we were on our way. The woman told us that they were closed and was going to call the on call doctor. I’m like freaking out because the website said 24/7 care. Unfortunately the doctor was away some three hours away. Not his fault, but he was the one that said he was fine and that he should just take Benadryl.

We figured Buddy was going to be okay. His breathing slowed, but I watched him. His breathing started to deepen, like he was trying to gasp for breath. Next think you know, he just stopped breathing.

I told my husband to pull over. We got out of the car and shook him, but nothing. He was gone. We freaked out and cried. We even tried to do mouth to mouth, but there was nothing we could do. He wasn’t waking up. My baby boy was gone.

Not many of you know this, but Buddy was baby. He was the light in my life. I loved him more than life itself. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes. I just can’t believe he’s gone. He was a mama’s boy as well. He was always by my side. He was a character, and had the best personality. I feel like a huge chunk of my heart was taken away from me when he died.

We took him back to the house that we are staying out and buried his body. I wanted to take him back home and bury him at home, but that was impossible to do. We did what we had to do. We said our goodbyes and I cried the whole day yesterday. I’m still crying and so far it’s a shitty vacation. I still can’t believe that he’s gone. I feel like I’m still in shock. I know he lived a good life, and he was loved, but it’s still hard. I’ll never forget him. RIP Buddy, I love you more than words could ever express!

I just wanted to share this story, because I needed to vent! Thanks for listening.

M.