Hey everyone I just wanted to let you know that my short story Dead End Drive is being published to an Anthology. I’m super excited about it, and I hope you support me and click below to purchase one today!
I know it’s been awhile, but life is crazy, especially with Covid going on. I have been reading a book that took literally six months to complete. I’m not even going to bother writing about it, because I didn’t think it was that good. Normally, if you follow me you know I would blog about the book I read and talk about it. I’m honestly not in that frame of mind these days.
On March 11th, my father passed away unexpectedly from Covid. I was extremely close with my dad, but since he contracted Covid, I haven’t seen him since February 6th. He was admitted in the hospital, where we weren’t allowed to see him, until after he died. I was beyond devastated since I couldn’t see him beforehand. I miss him everyday!
However, we have a puppy now. Well, he’s almost nine months old now. He’s a red Boston Terrier, named Murphy. He’s my cutie and I love him so much and he keeps me on my toes. He even has his own page on Instagram Murphy_the_turkey if you want to look him up. Anyway, right now he’s my saving grace.
I just wanted to check in with everyone and I hope you are safe. I’m going to start reading a new book, so hopefully I’ll get back to reviewing books again.
So yesterday 8/9, my English Bulldog, Buddy passed away unexpectedly. I am devastated. He was eight years old, to be nine in December. He didn’t have any health issues, except for the occasional allergies and mites. This is what happened:
We were getting ready to go on vacation, heading to Vermont, which is where we are right now. We packed up our things and took our beloved Bulldog Buddy and our Cairn Terrier, Zoe. We had the air on because it’s summer and bulldogs are always hot and overheated. We stopped halfway through, which the trip total was 4.5 hours. We let the dogs out to do their business and we gave them both water to drink. Buddy seemed fine at this point.
Towards the last stretch of our trip to Vermont, something went wrong it seemed. Buddy started to pant hard and was even making a gasping sound. We just thought maybe it was normal, because he’s a bulldog and he has breathing issues. Especially when we go on trips. He gets high anxiety because he doesn’t know where he’s going.
Anyway we arrive in Vermont and at the vacation spot that we are staying and he seems like he’s panting A LOT! I have seen him pant before, but this was too much. He was making a whistling sound and he sounded upset, like he was whimpering. He couldn’t catch his breath at all. I tried to give him water, he would drink, but then he would just throw it up. His tongue would turn purple in and out. My husband and I had no idea what to do. We decided it was time to call a vet in the area. We spoke to someone on call and they said to give him Benadryl and that it was normal. This did not seem NORMAL. He couldn’t breath. The nearest 24/7 hospital for animals was 2 hours away! Can you believe that, two hours! How do they not have any emergency vets close? It boggles my mind. In PA where I live, there are two hospitals for animals in a 10 min vicinity.
So anyway, we tried giving him water and the Benadryl, which we finally were able to give him. All of a sudden his legs gave out and he couldn’t walk. That’s when we knew something serious happened. We searched online and saw there was a “supposed” 24/7 vet right down the road, and we drove there. Buddy was panting heavily in the back seat and I was trying to call the hospital to tell them we were on our way. The woman told us that they were closed and was going to call the on call doctor. I’m like freaking out because the website said 24/7 care. Unfortunately the doctor was away some three hours away. Not his fault, but he was the one that said he was fine and that he should just take Benadryl.
We figured Buddy was going to be okay. His breathing slowed, but I watched him. His breathing started to deepen, like he was trying to gasp for breath. Next think you know, he just stopped breathing.
I told my husband to pull over. We got out of the car and shook him, but nothing. He was gone. We freaked out and cried. We even tried to do mouth to mouth, but there was nothing we could do. He wasn’t waking up. My baby boy was gone.
Not many of you know this, but Buddy was baby. He was the light in my life. I loved him more than life itself. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes. I just can’t believe he’s gone. He was a mama’s boy as well. He was always by my side. He was a character, and had the best personality. I feel like a huge chunk of my heart was taken away from me when he died.
We took him back to the house that we are staying out and buried his body. I wanted to take him back home and bury him at home, but that was impossible to do. We did what we had to do. We said our goodbyes and I cried the whole day yesterday. I’m still crying and so far it’s a shitty vacation. I still can’t believe that he’s gone. I feel like I’m still in shock. I know he lived a good life, and he was loved, but it’s still hard. I’ll never forget him. RIP Buddy, I love you more than words could ever express!
I just wanted to share this story, because I needed to vent! Thanks for listening.
The book I am reviewing is “The Great Alone” by Kristin Hannah. Let me just start off saying that it took me a long time to finish this book, only because I started it before the Pandemic. Once the pandemic started, I stopped reading it. However, once I went back to work, I finished it in a week.
I fell in love with the characters of this book. Ernt, Leni, and Cora Allbright. Ernt was the father, Cora was the mother, and Leni was the daughter. I technically fell in love with Leni and Cora, Ernt not so much (he was a bad guy).
SPOIL ALERT: DO NOT READ IF YOU PLAN TO READ THE BOOK
The story goes, Leni was a teenage girl and her father was an alcoholic man. He came back from Vietnam a changed man. But Cora loved him anyway, no matter how much he abused her.
Ernt would get in depressing moods and just want to pick up and move. So, one day when Leni got home from school, he picked his family up and whisked them out to Alaska. He inherited a piece of land from a Vietnam buddy who passed away. The issue with this was that the land was in the middle of nowhere. It was off the grid, they would all have to survive on their own.
When they arrived, the place was in shambles, but they made it their home. They were welcomed by other people in town. They’re really was only a handful, maybe a little more. They welcomed them with open arms and Ernt appreciated that. He thought Alaska would help him get better, get rid of his demons. However, it made him worse. His wife Cora was an attractive woman, so when men would look at her, he would become enraged and go home and hit Cora, like it was her fault.
When Leni started going to school there, there was only one classmate her age and his name was Matthew. Now at this time they were about 14. They were just friends, they didn’t think of each other in that way. However, something changed between them when Matthew watched his mother die. She was sucked under the ice. Matthew was devastated by her loss, that he decided to move in with his grandparents in a different part of Alaska, and Leni was left on her own.
Four years later, things were becoming really severe with her parents, that she wanted to get out there. More rather she wanted her mom, Cora to leave her dad. He was becoming more and more abusive and drinking more. Around this time is when Matthew came back. When Leni saw him, something changed inside her. She had a burning passion for him. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, and he about her. One thing you have to understand is that Ernt hated Matthews family, so she was forbidden to see him or hangout with him. However, during their senior year, they would sneak out and take trips and have picnics and that’s where Leni was kissed for the first time. She was thrilled and she wanted more.
One night Leni’s parents went out and she knew they would be gone for hours, so she invited Matthew over to the house. They made love for the first time that night. Matthew woke up to the sound of people walking around down in Leni’s house. He woke her up and she had to get him out of the house. She dragged her folks out of the house and Matthew got away.
After that night, things would never be the same. Leni wanted to be with Matthew always, but she couldn’t, so her plan was to go to college with him. She would leave this life behind, away from her dad and go with him. Her and Cora decided they were going to leave him. They headed to town with Ernt, and Leni yelled to Matthew to help them. Ernt heard that and yelled for them to get into the car. They went back into the truck and headed back home, but Matthew followed. When Ernt and the family got into the house, that is when all hell broke loose. He started beating Cora with her fists, smashing her nose and her face. Matthew came and pulled him off her and knocked him out. Cora and Leni went into Matthews truck.
They headed into town and Cora was dropped off at a really close friends house. Matthew took Leni up a mountain so they could escape her father. They set up a tent and woke up to each other. Leni was happy, but she needed her mom. She wanted to make sure she was okay. She needed to go, so Matthew decided to take her back. On the way down it started raining, and Leni lost track of Matthew and she fell into a crevice of the earth. She woke up with a broken arm and she couldn’t catch her breath. She broke some of her ribs. Matthew came after her and tried to save her life, but instead, it cost him a huge price. He fell and was in bad shape. He had a brain injury and he couldn’t walk.
A few hours, they were found and transported by hospital. Leni got patched up and was sent home. Matthew however, was in a coma. They weren’t sure if he would ever wake up.
When Cora and Leni arrived home, her dad was waiting for them. Cora didn’t press charges like she promised she would. Instead he went after them, but Leni told them she was pregnant and he started to beat the hell out of her. That is when Cora, took a shot gun and shot him! Not once, but twice. They had to hide the body, because this took place in the 70’s where it didn’t matter that men hit women. She would go to jail.
They hid the body and came back to the cabin, Cora’s close friends cleaned up and made up a fake story, saying that they were missing. Leni and Cora had to leave Alaska and went to Seattle, where Cora’s parents lived. They stayed there for 7 or 8 years. Cora became sick with Cancer, and gave Leni a confession letter and to go back home to Alaska with Leni’s son MJ. She told her she belonged there with Matthew, although she still thought he was a vegetable. That was her last wishes. She died and did what she was told. Her mom left her two one way tickets to Alaska.
Once they arrived, Leni did what she was told. She went to the police station and handed the envelope from her mom. The chief read it and coaxed her into telling him what really happened. She eventually told him what really happened and he arrested her. She told him to call Mr. Walker (Matthew’s dad) to come down. Mr. Walked came and saw Leni and she introduced him to his grandson. She told him to take care of him and left.
An arraignment was supposed to happen, but Cora’s friend came in and told the judge (who was friends with this woman) that it was a load of crap. All of a sudden there was a phone call from the governor and the case had been dropped. Thanks to Mr. Walker. In case you didn’t know, Mr. Walker is a big deal in Alaska, so he had a lot of strings.
Leni reunited with her son back on the Walker ranch. She wanted to see Matthew, but she was afraid. Mr. Walker took her to see him and when the door opened, she saw that he was conscious and aware. He was in a wheelchair and still had some damage to his head, but he was mostly aware of what was going on. He spoke in phrases. She was so happy he was back. She told him that he was a father. They walked hand in hand, (yes he could walk as well) and she took him to meet their son. He fell in love with him, as soon as he saw him. MJ yelled out daddy, and they became a family in Alaska.
This story actually had me crying. I never cry in books, like ever. But this one, I really couldn’t help myself. I give this story 4.5 stars. I would have given it 5, but it was a little slow in some parts. Especially toward the end. I kept waiting and waiting for the climax.
Hey everyone! I know it’s been an awful long time, and I now am writing finally because I actually have time. All due in part because of this quarantine we are in. I don’t know about some of you, but I’m getting sick of it. I’ve been in quarantine since March 13th. My husband and I do decide to take some trips through the country once in a while just to feel somewhat normal. What are you doing to keep your sanity in this time?
I’ve been trying to find things to keep me occupied, whether it’s reading a book, doing puzzles, playing video games, or just simply catching up on some tv. However, lately it’s getting boring to me. I take walks around my neighborhood with my dog, and it’s the only thing I seem to look forward to anymore. I haven’t wrote a single page of my novel in a long time. I feel like I lost myself with the writing.
Today we went for a drive, and we got stuck in a storm. We were surrounded by torrential rain, thunder, lightening strikes, and intense hail! I enjoyed every second of it, because I love storms. I can’t enjoy them at home, because my dog gets deathly scared of them. So I was thrilled I was able to actually be in the middle of one.
I guess this is the time that I should be focusing on my work. Getting my words down and expressing how I feel.
I found out today, that I am not able to return to work until at least June. I work in a school district and they closed all PA schools. Which means, I’ll be returning sometime in June. I find this insanely crazy, I never thought this would happen. Ever in a million years, and I’m sure many people feel the same way I do.
As far as being quarantined with my husband (he’s out of work too), we’ve grown closer because of this ordeal. We go to bed together and wake up together. We never used to do that. So I guess that’s kind of a plus. I think my fur babies (2 dogs, 4 cats), are also grateful that we are home with them. I don’t know what they’re thinking, now that we’ve been home with them everyday. They’re probably in their glory.
So I just wanted to check in and say hello to all you wonderful people and please be safe out there.
I am reviewing Darcy Coates book The Haunting of Blackwood House. If you read my reviews on books you know that I pretty much tell the whole story in a synopsis. So, if you want to read this book or any other books I review, I would suggest you don’t read this blog 🙂 Otherwise please read on.
This is first time reading a Darcy Coates book and I just happened to stumble upon it on my Kindle. I have Kindle unlimited so from time to time, they’ll shove books in my face wanting me to read them. I have a soft spot for horror, so I took a chance.
WARNING: SPOIL ALERT
Mara was a young woman from what I gathered. I’m assuming in her young twenties. She lived in a small apartment by herself, but had a boyfriend Neil. Something plagued Mara, and that was growing up with Medium parents (which means they were psychics). She always thought they were fakes and ripped off clients. They always told Mara that they weren’t fakes and that she too had the gift, but she didn’t believe them. She basically dropped her parents as soon as she was old enough to be out on her own.
Mara wanted out of her apartment and her boyfriend wanted to buy her a place or for her to move in with him. She was the type of person that was independent. She wanted to do everything for herself, and that included buying her own home.
When she and Neil started looking for a place, a realtor brought up Blackwood and something drew Mara to that place. The realtor was however iffy about the house, but that didn’t bother Mara. When they arrived to look at the house, Mara fell in love instantly. The realtor however, told her that there was a clause. That someone was murdered in that house. Neil wanted her to look else wear, but Mara was intrigued. She didn’t believe in the paranormal and didn’t care what anyone said. She accepted the offer to move in and the house was hers. Mara was excited to start this chapter in her life.
Soon after Mara moved in, things were starting to turn sinister. She would hear footsteps, see things she couldn’t explain, but she rubbed it off as some kind of explanation. She still didn’t believe in ghosts or hauntings.
The weeks that followed, things just got worse. Most the time Mara was left alone, and Neil went back to his own home. She would see things and hear things all the time. For example, a rocking chair moved on its own, but she dismissed it as the wind blew it. However, one night she dreamt and experienced something she never experienced before. She dreamt about the basement downstairs. It was evil. Pure evil. In the morning, Neil found her locked in the basement, in a puddle of blood that wasn’t her own. She thought maybe she just slept walk. Neil pretty much stayed with her after that.
Neil decided to look into the house. He found out that Victor Barlow, who was found out to be the owner of this home and actually Mara’s great great grandfather, was a murderer. He murdered people and actually was able to put a hold on families that lived there and murdered each other. He recruited a man Robert Cant who would do the killing for him with an axe.
They met with a woman who survived the house, and told them all about the creepy things that went on when her and her family lived there. Neil was worried about Mara, but she still didn’t believe it.
It wasn’t until things started to really take shape, and Mara was falling apart. Neil could see something was going with her, and told Mara to take a break from the house. That’s when he hired a Medium to come into the house and clear it out. While Mara was out she ran into her parents, and she was highly upset and decided to go back to the house.
When she saw the Medium and Neil and another guy in her house, she freaked out. Its like something possessed her. She threw chairs, picked up a table and even flipped out to Neil. She hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. In fact she wanted him dead. They exchanged words and everyone left, with the exception of Mara.
That night while she was laying in bed, things took a turn for the worse. Everyone exposed themselves to her. The blood on the walls, the man with the axe. The spirit living in the attic, that constantly keeps throwing himself out the window. She decides in a hurry to contact the spiritual medium that was there.
They show up to the house and they decide to try and cleanse the house. Mara doesn’t believe in all this psychic bologna, but they were her only hope. She wanted to call Neil, but she felt like she blew it with him and his phone went right to voicemail.
While the psychic and her assistant went to the attic, Mara had to grab some sage from downstairs, but while there, she was strung up by her neck by Robert. She couldn’t breath or scream. Luckily in that moment, Neil came in and freed her. He saved her life.
The psychic and her assistant made their way back downstairs and they tried to get rid of the head ghost, who they thought was Robert. They couldn’t do it. Instead, they provoked Robert and made it worse. He choked the psychic and she passed out. Her assistant ran away. Mara tried to help the psychic, but couldn’t free her. She blacked out.
When she woke up, she saw Neil standing there with a blank look on his face. He moved down to the basement, and Mara called after him. She didn’t like the basement, it freaked her out. Neil was acting strange. He wasn’t the same Neil he was before. Mara didn’t understand. She followed him anyhow. She realized it wasn’t him when he turned to face her. His face was distorted into someone else. She screamed and wanted to run. He picked up an axe and wanted to kill her, but she escaped. She tried calling Neil’s name, but nothing.
She realized she had sage on her and she threw herself on Neil. He managed to cut Mara’s arm with the axe, but she didn’t let that bother her. When she hit Robert with the sage, she realized it wasn’t Robert but it was Victor Barlow. He was the head of the ghosts. He leaped out of Neil’s body and tried to get to Mara, but she was doing a spell on him. She cast him out of the house. When she did that all of the other spirits left.
Neil woke up and Mara began passing out because of all the blood she lost from the axe cutting her. When she came to, Neil was there for her, apologizing. The psychic was fine and the assistant came back. They were impressed with Mara’s skill. The house in Blackwood was now clear.
A few months later, Mara remained in Blackwood. The psychic and her assistant rented a room in her home. Neil and his mother moved in as well. Mara loved it and she wasn’t alone anymore. She even joined the psychic on a few house calls.
She was feeling so good, that she needed to do one more thing. She made up with her parents.
I gave this story four stars out of five. At parts it dragged on and some parts didn’t make sense to me. For example, when Neil came just in the nick of time to find Mara, struggling for breath as she was being hanged. It was like okay he helped her, but then they had this whole conversation with her while this ghost is attacking everyone and everything around them. I had to laugh at that. I’m thinking if I was in that situation, I would be freaking out. I know it’s fiction, but come on. It took me about three months to finally finish it. Once I got toward the end of the story, I started to really get into it. I still however, enjoyed the story. I’m sure I’ll probably read Darcy Coats again.
Otherwise, I think the story was well written and the story flowed. I looked up the author and I saw that she does a lot of fiction stories on hauntings of other places, so I’ll probably have to check them out one of these days.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, I appreciate you all very much!
I am reviewing the book Watch Me Disappear, by Janelle Brown.
I gave this book book 3 stars out of 4. It was a little hard to get into this book. It wasn’t until the end that I really started to get into it. Therefore, it took me months to finish.
This book is about Billie Flanagan, a wild child, but she was a woman. She was witty, fun, open, wild, wasn’t afraid of anything. She was married to her husband Johnathan and had a daughter Olive.
Billie has what seems like a life crisis, and starts to ponder her life. She was a free spirit, didn’t really like to be tied down, until she met her husband. However after many years, that didn’t last.
Billie goes off for a hike, leaving her husband and daughter at home. A few days go by and she never came home. Johnathan and Olive start to worry and they send a search party. The search party finds Billies shoe and she is presumed dead.
After a year goes by, Olive starts to have visions of her. She thinks she’s trying to tell her. She gives her clues and Olive tries and finds her. She’s convinced she is alive somewhere. She tells her father, but he dismisses her.
Johnathan feels like he’s going through a midlife crisis. He quits his job, and writes a memoir about his beloved wife. He finds himself however, finding clues and things hidden from him, like the fact that Billie had a daughter, from a previous marriage, that she neglected to tell him. He starts up a relationship with Billies best friend Harmony, and his daughter is skipping school and avoiding him all together. He feels like nothing is going right for him, until he comes across Billies laptop.
Johnathan can’t get into his wife’s computer, so he hands it off to his friend to crack the password. He hired a private investigator, because Johnathan realized a lot of money is taken from him.
Johnathan finds out an address of someone that was Billies computer of a man, or he thought was a man. He also found a letter that Billie wrote. It seemed to be intimate in his eyes. He thought she left him and Olive for another man. He hid the computer and didn’t want to see it anymore. He thought if she wanted to disappear and be with that man then let her.
Olive finds the laptop, and retrieves the address. She leaves school and takes a drive. When she pulls up to this address of Ryan, she knocks on the door and to her surprise she sees her mother looking back at her, except it wasn’t really her mother. It was Billies daughter.
When Jonathan found out that Olive skipped school, he knew that Olive found the laptop and went to that address. He pulled up, knocked on the door and there she was. A younger version of his wife.
Billie did hike up to the mountains, but she knew her life was over with Johnathan and Olive. She faked her own death by throwing a shoe into a rock, thinking she got stuck.
She hired a private investigator to get a new passport and to change her name. She left and started anew in Denmark.
I did like this book, but sometimes I think, she was really selfish. She just left her daughter and husband. She didn’t tell them about her other daughter. She kept so many things from them. She felt like she just needed to start over. That to me is a shitty mother, and really selfish. But hey, it’s fiction right haha it’s different then my other reads.
What’s up everyone!
I know it’s been awhile, been crazy busy with writing and reading!
Just wanted to let you all know if you live in the Bucks County, PA area, I’ll be apart of a local author expo at Northampton Free Library on Upper Holland Road. The time is 11 until 2.
Hope to see ya there!
I’m very excited to review this next book. It’s called Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen. I gave this book five stars. It was amazing!
Here comes the spoilers in case you want to read this book yourself.
Garden Spells is about the Waverly family. Claire and Sydney. They are sisters that are the complete opposite. Sydney was a wild child while Claire was a homebody, who did right by everyone.
The Waverly’s were highly popular in their cozy North Carolina town. They were popular and well known because they were something magical. They knew things and things would happen when they were around. They weren’t per say witches, but there was something to them. The townspeople didn’t really care for them because they were different. Claire however, always tried to make people like her. She was a caterer and made wonderful meals that everyone loved. She tried to please everyone.
There was Evanelle, an Aunt from what I gathered who also lived in town. She had the power of giving things to people when they need them. A lot of people in town were afraid of her because you never know what she could give you. It was like something called to her and she needed to give it you right away. It could be in the middle of the night and she would have to get it to you.
Sydney ran away from her home where she was living with her daughter Bay and her boyfriend David. David was a bad man. He would beat Sydney within inches of her life, so she and Bay decided to move away from there and back home with Claire, who hadn’t seen her in years. They didn’t always get a long and didn’t see eye to eye.
So when Sydney showed up out of nowhere with a daughter who is five years old, Claire was shocked. She didn’t know what to think about all of this. Sydney wouldn’t tell her anything about the life she was living.
As time passed, the girls became closer. A man named Tyler lived next door to them and Claire had a thing for him, but it was more like he had one for her. You see there was an apple tree that was planted in the Waverly’s backyard. It had a mind of it’s own. It would throw apples and it would spread it’s branches out. It liked the attention. It was magic. It was said that if you ate one of those apples, you would see the one thing you were destined for. It would be either horribly devastating or wonderful.
Tyler ate one of those apples and he saw something that he never imagined. He saw Claire. She pushed him away as much as she could, she didn’t want love or to get hurt. However, there was something about him that drew her in.
Sydney spent a lot of time with Tyler because they were becoming great friends. They would tell each other everything and he would talk about Claire all the time.
Claire would make her infamous magical food to wean people away from her, but it didn’t work on Tyler. She couldn’t stay away from him any longer.
Sydney found Henry, a boy she knew since grade school. She just wanted to be friends with him, but Henry didn’t want that and it took him a good chunk of the book to tell her. At the end, she realized that she loved him. She kissed him to be sure, and it was pure electric. There was one thing though, there was David. The ex.
David pops in at the end of the story during a party that Claire and Sydney are throwing. He carries a gun with him and he shoots Henry in the shoulder. Bay hid away from David, she didn’t want anything to do with him. The tree threw an apple at him, thinking it came from Bay and he ate it. What he saw a few seconds later changed everything. He dropped the gun and he fled.
In the end David gets caught and goes to prison. They believe he saw his death in jail. Henry and Sydney spoke about marriage and Bay became incredibly happy. Claire and Tyler end up together with a baby and an engagement.
They all lived happily ever after.
That was my review of Garden Spells. I know what I wrote didn’t do the book justice but it’s only a tad of what this book is about. If I had to compare it to anything, it reminded me of Practical Magic.
I know this is personal, but at this point I really don’t care…
As I’m writing this I feel defeated, like I’m lost in limbo. Waking up everyday is a current struggle for me. My husband cheated on me from 2017 until the middle of 2018, and I can’t get it out of my head. I keep thinking about it constantly. I separated from him once, almost twice because of it.
Everyday there is a constant battle within me, should I leave him permanently or should I stay? He apologized profusely, but yet I can’t forgive him. He cheated on me for over a year, and if I had not caught him, it probably would’ve continued.
The funny thing is, I’m one of those people that if the tables have turned and this happened to someone else, I would’ve yelled at them for staying with their significant other. Instead, I’m staying. I love him still, I do. But because what he did, I’m losing it.
I’ve never felt this broken before and depressed by something. I know what I should do, but I don’t know if I can. The other night we were laying in bed, and I told him that I felt really fucked up in the head. That I feel depressed, and I need to see a therapist about all of this. He got mad at me because of the way I feel. He’s a master manipulator, I don’t know if he’s to the extent of an emotional abuser, but he’s something.
I have so many thoughts in my head, but at the same time I’m struggling to understand any of this. I’m honestly so tired and I can barely function anymore. Should I forgive what he did? I don’t think I can ever forgive nor forget. It’s harder because the person that he cheated on me with confronted me last month with more news. This devastated me even more, and brought up the almost second separation. He denies everything that she says, except for the part that he had phone sex with her for over a year. Which just sickens me. I mean who does that? If you’re feeling a certain way, then tell me. Don’t go off and fool around with someone else. That’s just downright disgusting.
I am a novelist, that is what I do and right now, with what he did, I lost my mojo. I have no ambition at all to write anything. It took all my might to even write this. I don’t expect anyone to comment or like my post, but I needed to get this out of my system.
He made me feel like it was my fault, that he cheated. He said that he was lonely and we weren’t being intimate. He’s a tattoo artist, so he constantly tattoos women. A lot of them attractive, so will I ever be able get over what he did? Could he do it again? He keeps saying that he regrets it, and that he would never do it again. All he wants to do is put this all behind him. I’m so glad it’s so easy for him to just forget about it. Of course he would say that, he’s the cheater.
I’m sorry if I’m ranting about this, but I’m hurting and I feel broken. I feel like I lost everything. My best friend cheated on me. For over a year nonetheless. That’s probably the hardest part. What drives someone to really do that to their partner? It is beyond me. I’m just not right these days. I feel like I’m running on fumes, like I’m in a fog.