My heart is broken. I am 9 weeks pregnant and I had my viable ultrasound today. This is my second one in two weeks. The doctor came in and checked and said that the baby stopped growing and they couldn’t locate a heartbeat. Therefore, no change since the 24th. We have to terminate the pregnancy. On top of that, I have a cervical polyp the size of a grape and that is causing bleeding. I am not having a wonderful time right now. I feel broken and shattered into a million pieces.

Four years ago I had a miscarriage and that one wasn’t viable either. I had to terminate that one as well. It just feels like a never ending cycle for me. I think I am done trying this baby thing. I am just not meant to be a mom to a baby. I have furbabies, so that is my number one job right now. I can live with that. It just hurts that this time there was actual life growing inside me, unlike four years ago, there was an empty sac. My baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. Have not a clue why, but I feel like it’s my fault. I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but of course I can’t help it. My husband is upset too of course, so we have each other. I am glad I have the support system I do. If this is happening to you, please feel free to reach out. We can support each other. There are not enough women that aren’t talking about this. It’s life changing and and earth shattering all at once.

M.