A year ago today, my dad passed away due to Covid. I am still so broken over it. It’s true what they say, it will never get easier, you just manage. I think about him everyday, and wish I could see him. I miss his smile, I miss his hugs, I miss his laugh, and the way he would make fun of me. I would come over to his house and a good song would come on and I would start dancing and he would say, “cause that’s what she does.” I’ll never forget that. It feels like only yesterday he said that.

I’m grateful I had this many years with my dad, but I wish I had more. He was in his seventies and he had pulmonary fibrosis, which covid attached itself too, making it nearly impossible to survive this. If he did, he would be suffering today. I miss him with all my being.

I wasn’t close to my dad for years, it wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I became close with him. My mom, dad, and me would spend every Saturday together. Now, it’s just my mom and I. I love my mom with all my heart. She is my best friend. We get together nearly everyday. I’m super grateful I still have her.

Today, I was getting in my car heading back to work, and the radio came on. The song ‘I just called, to say I love you,’ was on. I know deep in my heart that was from him. It was him telling me he loved me and he cares about me. Immediately tears started to form in my eyes. Later on today after work, my mom and I are going to his grave. We go almost every weekend.

Hold your loved ones tighter, because you never know when the last time you’ll see them. Unfortunately, due to covid I couldn’t see him, so it’s been over a year since I seen him. When he was in the hospital, I wasn’t allowed to visit him. It wasn’t until after he passed that we could see him. I go my closure and said goodbye to him, but I was slumped over his body sobbing. That was the hardest and saddest day of my life. I am now without my dad, who I miss more than anything.

I love you dad, may you Rest In Peace.

One thought on “Today

  1. So sorry to hear about this. And knowing it still hurts after that long breaks my heart even more. Thanks for sharing this, and thanks for the reminder to appreciate our loved ones before we can’t.

    Like

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