Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author · 1 Comment

Today

A year ago today, my dad passed away due to Covid. I am still so broken over it. It’s true what they say, it will never get easier, you just manage. I think about him everyday, and wish I could see him. I miss his smile, I miss his hugs, I miss his laugh, and the way he would make fun of me. I would come over to his house and a good song would come on and I would start dancing and he would say, “cause that’s what she does.” I’ll never forget that. It feels like only yesterday he said that.

I’m grateful I had this many years with my dad, but I wish I had more. He was in his seventies and he had pulmonary fibrosis, which covid attached itself too, making it nearly impossible to survive this. If he did, he would be suffering today. I miss him with all my being.

I wasn’t close to my dad for years, it wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I became close with him. My mom, dad, and me would spend every Saturday together. Now, it’s just my mom and I. I love my mom with all my heart. She is my best friend. We get together nearly everyday. I’m super grateful I still have her.

Today, I was getting in my car heading back to work, and the radio came on. The song ‘I just called, to say I love you,’ was on. I know deep in my heart that was from him. It was him telling me he loved me and he cares about me. Immediately tears started to form in my eyes. Later on today after work, my mom and I are going to his grave. We go almost every weekend.

Hold your loved ones tighter, because you never know when the last time you’ll see them. Unfortunately, due to covid I couldn’t see him, so it’s been over a year since I seen him. When he was in the hospital, I wasn’t allowed to visit him. It wasn’t until after he passed that we could see him. I go my closure and said goodbye to him, but I was slumped over his body sobbing. That was the hardest and saddest day of my life. I am now without my dad, who I miss more than anything.

I love you dad, may you Rest In Peace.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Sad Day

So yesterday 8/9, my English Bulldog, Buddy passed away unexpectedly. I am devastated. He was eight years old, to be nine in December. He didn’t have any health issues, except for the occasional allergies and mites. This is what happened:

We were getting ready to go on vacation, heading to Vermont, which is where we are right now. We packed up our things and took our beloved Bulldog Buddy and our Cairn Terrier, Zoe. We had the air on because it’s summer and bulldogs are always hot and overheated. We stopped halfway through, which the trip total was 4.5 hours. We let the dogs out to do their business and we gave them both water to drink. Buddy seemed fine at this point.

Towards the last stretch of our trip to Vermont, something went wrong it seemed. Buddy started to pant hard and was even making a gasping sound. We just thought maybe it was normal, because he’s a bulldog and he has breathing issues. Especially when we go on trips. He gets high anxiety because he doesn’t know where he’s going.

Anyway we arrive in Vermont and at the vacation spot that we are staying and he seems like he’s panting A LOT! I have seen him pant before, but this was too much. He was making a whistling sound and he sounded upset, like he was whimpering. He couldn’t catch his breath at all. I tried to give him water, he would drink, but then he would just throw it up. His tongue would turn purple in and out. My husband and I had no idea what to do. We decided it was time to call a vet in the area. We spoke to someone on call and they said to give him Benadryl and that it was normal. This did not seem NORMAL. He couldn’t breath. The nearest 24/7 hospital for animals was 2 hours away! Can you believe that, two hours! How do they not have any emergency vets close? It boggles my mind. In PA where I live, there are two hospitals for animals in a 10 min vicinity.

So anyway, we tried giving him water and the Benadryl, which we finally were able to give him. All of a sudden his legs gave out and he couldn’t walk. That’s when we knew something serious happened. We searched online and saw there was a “supposed” 24/7 vet right down the road, and we drove there. Buddy was panting heavily in the back seat and I was trying to call the hospital to tell them we were on our way. The woman told us that they were closed and was going to call the on call doctor. I’m like freaking out because the website said 24/7 care. Unfortunately the doctor was away some three hours away. Not his fault, but he was the one that said he was fine and that he should just take Benadryl.

We figured Buddy was going to be okay. His breathing slowed, but I watched him. His breathing started to deepen, like he was trying to gasp for breath. Next think you know, he just stopped breathing.

I told my husband to pull over. We got out of the car and shook him, but nothing. He was gone. We freaked out and cried. We even tried to do mouth to mouth, but there was nothing we could do. He wasn’t waking up. My baby boy was gone.

Not many of you know this, but Buddy was baby. He was the light in my life. I loved him more than life itself. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes. I just can’t believe he’s gone. He was a mama’s boy as well. He was always by my side. He was a character, and had the best personality. I feel like a huge chunk of my heart was taken away from me when he died.

We took him back to the house that we are staying out and buried his body. I wanted to take him back home and bury him at home, but that was impossible to do. We did what we had to do. We said our goodbyes and I cried the whole day yesterday. I’m still crying and so far it’s a shitty vacation. I still can’t believe that he’s gone. I feel like I’m still in shock. I know he lived a good life, and he was loved, but it’s still hard. I’ll never forget him. RIP Buddy, I love you more than words could ever express!

I just wanted to share this story, because I needed to vent! Thanks for listening.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Remembering Selena

So I have to get this off my chest. I watched Selena today, I’m not sure if you remember who she was. If not I’ll give you a little background. She was a Mexican American girl that was an up and coming singer. She won the hearts of millions of people before her tragic death in 1995. She was shot dead by the president of her fan club. Selena was only 23.

When I watched the movie today it moved me in so many ways. First happiness, then anger, and ended by sadness. This girl had everything. Her family started singing when they were very young. Her brother played the bass and her sister played the drums. They were only kids when they started out. As Selena grew, so did her voice. They started playing locally and then eventually hit the big time. She made it big in Mexico and is considered the highest earned Latina woman ever. She was doing her crossover album when she was killed.

I was so pissed off! This girl was amazing and she was just starting to live her life. Then this jealous woman comes along and shoots her for a reason that was just plain old stupid. To this day it upsets me. She could’ve went on and been something big, even more so then she was, but because of someone’s stupidity she died. You just never know what life is going to throw at you. You could be going along your way successfully, and then bang your dead. I don’t think I’ll ever get over her death. Every time the movie is on (starring Jennifer Lopez) I have to watch it, and every time it cuts deep inside of me. Maybe I’m being crazy but I thought she was a very talented woman. She sang she danced and she even designed her own clothes.

She found the love of her life and married him when she was only 20. He was the guitarist for the group. They lived happily together until her life was cut short. Him and the family were devastated. I don’t know why it bothered me so much today more then any other day. I needed to get this off my chest. I feel so saddened for the family and for her husband because of someones cowardice. That woman will spend the rest of her life in prison. I’m sorry for going off on a tangent but it cuts like a knife when I think how multi-talented she was and how she was taken away from us.

Selena Quintanilla-Perez 4/16/71-3/31/95

Rest Easy

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Catching up

Its been awhile since I’ve wrote anything on my blog so I wanted to do some catching up. The year is about to end. It’s crazy how fast the year went.

It was a year ago about a week ago since I published my first novel Braver Than Yesterday (formerly known as Not Alone). I’ve had such a wonderful time experiencing everything that had to do with the writing. Whether it was from the book signings that took place this year to even finishing my second novel From Within. I feel so blessed to have this gift of creativity bestowed upon me. I always wanted to do writing but I was always afraid to dabble with it.

This year I also took a writing course to brush up on skills. It was very informative and interesting. I enjoyed writing stories in the class. I wrote my very first short story and felt compelled to send it to some magazines but have yet to hear from them. It’s all good though, at least I tried.

Also this year I got a second job to help out with bills, which actually hasn’t been too bad. I don’t mind it really.

I lost my grandfather this year which was really sad. I will sure miss him.

There were some health scares in my family but nothing major so that’s good.

In the coming year I’m hoping for some new things. I’m hoping to pick up an agent for my novels. I’m hoping to complete at least two novels this year.

I also would love to expand my family this year. So we’ll see what happens with that. I’m ready for 2018 to be the best year yet. How about you?