Sad Day

So yesterday 8/9, my English Bulldog, Buddy passed away unexpectedly. I am devastated. He was eight years old, to be nine in December. He didn’t have any health issues, except for the occasional allergies and mites. This is what happened:

We were getting ready to go on vacation, heading to Vermont, which is where we are right now. We packed up our things and took our beloved Bulldog Buddy and our Cairn Terrier, Zoe. We had the air on because it’s summer and bulldogs are always hot and overheated. We stopped halfway through, which the trip total was 4.5 hours. We let the dogs out to do their business and we gave them both water to drink. Buddy seemed fine at this point.

Towards the last stretch of our trip to Vermont, something went wrong it seemed. Buddy started to pant hard and was even making a gasping sound. We just thought maybe it was normal, because he’s a bulldog and he has breathing issues. Especially when we go on trips. He gets high anxiety because he doesn’t know where he’s going.

Anyway we arrive in Vermont and at the vacation spot that we are staying and he seems like he’s panting A LOT! I have seen him pant before, but this was too much. He was making a whistling sound and he sounded upset, like he was whimpering. He couldn’t catch his breath at all. I tried to give him water, he would drink, but then he would just throw it up. His tongue would turn purple in and out. My husband and I had no idea what to do. We decided it was time to call a vet in the area. We spoke to someone on call and they said to give him Benadryl and that it was normal. This did not seem NORMAL. He couldn’t breath. The nearest 24/7 hospital for animals was 2 hours away! Can you believe that, two hours! How do they not have any emergency vets close? It boggles my mind. In PA where I live, there are two hospitals for animals in a 10 min vicinity.

So anyway, we tried giving him water and the Benadryl, which we finally were able to give him. All of a sudden his legs gave out and he couldn’t walk. That’s when we knew something serious happened. We searched online and saw there was a “supposed” 24/7 vet right down the road, and we drove there. Buddy was panting heavily in the back seat and I was trying to call the hospital to tell them we were on our way. The woman told us that they were closed and was going to call the on call doctor. I’m like freaking out because the website said 24/7 care. Unfortunately the doctor was away some three hours away. Not his fault, but he was the one that said he was fine and that he should just take Benadryl.

We figured Buddy was going to be okay. His breathing slowed, but I watched him. His breathing started to deepen, like he was trying to gasp for breath. Next think you know, he just stopped breathing.

I told my husband to pull over. We got out of the car and shook him, but nothing. He was gone. We freaked out and cried. We even tried to do mouth to mouth, but there was nothing we could do. He wasn’t waking up. My baby boy was gone.

Not many of you know this, but Buddy was baby. He was the light in my life. I loved him more than life itself. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes. I just can’t believe he’s gone. He was a mama’s boy as well. He was always by my side. He was a character, and had the best personality. I feel like a huge chunk of my heart was taken away from me when he died.

We took him back to the house that we are staying out and buried his body. I wanted to take him back home and bury him at home, but that was impossible to do. We did what we had to do. We said our goodbyes and I cried the whole day yesterday. I’m still crying and so far it’s a shitty vacation. I still can’t believe that he’s gone. I feel like I’m still in shock. I know he lived a good life, and he was loved, but it’s still hard. I’ll never forget him. RIP Buddy, I love you more than words could ever express!

I just wanted to share this story, because I needed to vent! Thanks for listening.

M.

Another Day

I dont really know what to write about today. I’m just kind of bored and I’m actually at my parents house and hearing them bicker. I try not to laugh but I can’t help it, I guess that’s what happens when you’re married for so many years. I’ve only been married 2 and a half years and we fight like that already, hahaha I guess it is what it is. 

I did a lot of cleaning today at my house, my many animals are destroying my house but I still love them so much, especially my bulldog, he’s the cutest thing and he has the greatest personality. 

I didn’t get to do any writing these past few days because I’ve just been in a funk and also when I do sit down to write something comes up and I’m not able to. I am however definitely enjoying how this book is going. 

I made a new playlist for my jogging workout which I really like, when I hear it I get really excited and can’t wait to workout. I feel like it gives me some energy and it makes me happy. Have you ever had that happen when you hear a song you just light up and you feel the energy inside your body? Totally love that feeling.

 Okay I’m done for the evening, hope everyone has a great night! Cheers to it almost being the weekend!

M. 

You Never Know..

You really never know what kind of day you’re going to have until you’re actually starting your day. I was in the process of having a horrible day because I spilled coffee all over my kitchen counter and floor today. However, instead of getting pissed about it and yelling, I actually started to laugh, because what is the point? There really isn’t a point to get all mad and get your blood pressure on the rise because of some stupid mistake you made.

But I have to tell you something, last night while I was sleeping, my lovely husband decided to do something that I’ve been wanting him to do for the longest time, and no it wasn’t sexual, it was actually moving a piece of exercise equipment. Well my amazing dog, Buddy,which he is literally scared of everything and he’s a bulldog so you would think he’s just a tough little man. He’s not! He’s actually quite the opposite, he’s a big baby. I’ll take the blame for that, I just baby him and a lot. I can’t help it, I love him so much. So yes, he’s really spoiled, he likes to lay on me and cuddle with me and he’s super heavy but he’s my lap dog. Wow I just totally went off on a rant about my dog haha. So anyway, back to last night, so my dog sees this piece of equipment and he just can’t stop barking. He’s like deathly afraid of it and it woke me up out of a sound sleep.I ran downstairs furious and just flipped out. I mean it wasn’t my husbands fault it was Buddy’s, but I was half asleep and I just couldn’t really tell what was going on, so I cursed out the hubby and I went back to bed. Today I woke up super tired and I felt bad about yelling last night. So this morning I wrote him a nice little text apologizing.

That was obviously before I spilled the coffee all over the counter and on the floor which I laughed about. I decided that today I was going to write some more of my new novel, and I just felt like today was going to be one of those days where I wouldn’t have any inspiration, but when I started to write I couldn’t stop. That was most definitely a good thing. What I take out of all of this is that you wake up and you feel like you’re going to have one of those horrible crappy days but it ends up being a good day. You never know.

Have a good day everyone!!

M.

and if you haven’t already done so, please check out my Novel on Amazon called Not Alone by Melissa Rose Bushey.