As it Goes

I love to write, I can’t think of anything else I would rather do. I know most of you know that I have a full time job as a receptionist and it’s boring tedious work. This morning I woke up and I rolled out of bed dreading I had to be here. I know people say, “Hey, if you don’t like something then change it.” I wish I could do that, but unfortunately until I sign a contract for my books I can’t do anything. I have to do what I have to do to make money.

It’s been so long since I even blogged. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me because it’s my life. I chose the path I’m walking down. I’m just tired. I want to do what makes me happy, but money is the root of all evil.

So anyway, I started writing a new novel and it’s completely different then what I usually write. I tend to stay with the Young Adult books, but this time I decided to stray. Who knows though, it could turn into something else. That always seems to happen to me. I’m excited to see how it will turn out. I am however, going to take my time with this one. I have to be honest, the first novel I wrote Braver Than Yesterday, I coasted through it. I did get a good response from the book, but honestly it’s a mess. It’s all over the place and it didn’t get really good reviews. Hey I get it, it’s my first novel. It was my first try. Someone destroyed me with a brutally honest review on Goodreads. They gave me one star, if they could give me no stars they probably would have. I was upset at first but then I thought, hey it’s someones opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. I took it in stride and wrote a response back that was nothing but professional. I could’ve flipped out, but what’s the point? That’s not what I’m about. I just take it and learn from it and put my heart into the next novel.

My second novel From Within, I feel is a much better novel. Not many people read that one, but the people that did really enjoyed it. I was excited when I saw a review on Goodreads for that book. It was four stars and I was like yes! I’m hoping more people will check out my second book, because I have the sequel Forward to the Past out. Well it’s not technically out yet because I’m trying to get it out there with publishers/agents. It’s not an easy process. You have to get the query and the synopsis perfectly. The pitch is the most important. From Within is just really different because it has to do with spirits and I know how people feel about that. Maybe that’s why they don’t want to read it, but it’s geared towards young adults and teens. It’s a fantasy, magical story. I just want people to understand that.

…if dreams come true it will happen ๐Ÿ™‚

Why not

Writing for a living is a struggle, well for me it is. I’m trying to do it for a living and well it’s not turning out very well. Writing takes structure and words and well thought out planning. You give your life to it and what do you get in return? Nothing really, I mean yeah the desire that you wrote this piece of art and you let everyone read it. Words that pour from your soul onto a piece of paper. Some people don’t even care about it. They look at it and go eh and that’s it. I’m hoping for more then that. 
Have you ever seen Girl Boss? I want that life. The life where you don’t care what people say, you’re going to do it anyway and your way. If writing makes me happy so be it, I want to be happy! I want to be my own boss, I want to write and sell my books. I want to wake up each morning knowing that somewhere in the world there is someone reading my book. That shit makes me happy and there is no one that can tell me otherwise. So thanks to everyone who purchased my novels and to those who read it. You are the best people in this world because you’re a passionate reader and you took the time out of your busy life to read the words that I wrote! I appreciate YOU! 
Don’t take shit from anyone! You do what you want to do!
M. 

Almost Time

My new novel From Within is almost ready!! Stay tuned for more details. I’m so excited for this one and I’m actually writing the sequel for it now! 

I’m so appreciative to everyone that is purchasing Braver Than Yesterday on Amazon! You’re making my dreams come true! Thank you for your support ๐Ÿ™‚

M. 

Monday…

So it’s Monday and I feel absolutely drained today. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, like a lot of times and I have these crazy vivid dreams. However, I am awake at the same time. I look over to where my closet is which doesn’t have a door, it’s just like a cloth that hangs in front ย of it and I swear it changed, it just looks like something else. So then I fall back to sleep only to awake again and look on the other side of the room where there are a few things scattered on the floor like my slippers and my purse. I’m like looking at these items and one of them as been removed. I don’t know if I’m losing my mind or what. Oh and then I hear a whisper in my ear, “Hey.” I did not freak out, instead I just fell asleep. I know most people would freak out if they heard that but I feel like I’m so used to it because it does happen often.

When I was little I used to see things (this is actually true). Things that would freak you out, I’m talking ghosts. I remember being small maybe like 5 years old and seeing books fly across the wall that was in a huge bookshelf, which is funny because my parents still have that bookshelf. Anyways I used to see dead people (spirits). I never told anyone before, I think I was scared or ashamed or a little bit of both. It wasn’t until recently I let my parents in on the secret. So anyway when that would occur I would freak out, I freaked out for years until finally they stopped. I wouldn’t see them anymore but I still felt them around me. I remember moving to a different house with my parents and I didn’t think anything about those ghosts because I figured they were gone. Not until a few years later I used to hear voices calling my name and things falling on the floor. I became scared shitless again. I didn’t tell my parents I just let it continue to bother me. Eventually as I got older those things started to go away, it wasn’t until I moved in with my then boyfriend now husband that they stopped completely.

Then we decided to buy a house and within the first few days things were normal and I forgot about all the ghostly business until one morning I was sweeping the floor and I heard a man’s voice saying “hello.” I’m like oh boy here we go again, not another haunted house or ghosts following me around. I didn’t hear from that man again. I believe that spirits are out there and they try and contact you if you just listen. I try and welcome them nowadays but I feel like my brain has closed that part. The only time it does happen is when I sleep, I hear a voice in my ear when I’m half in and half out.

Okay that’s enough for today, you probably think I’m nuts but that’s okay. Everyone has their opinions ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope everyone has a good Monday!

M.

Just Happy..

In thinking about what I could write today or these past few days I found it hard to come up with something. I like to try and be positive but some days it’s hard. My book on Amazon isn’t selling as much as I hoped it would’ve but I have to expect that, I’m an unknown author who is just starting out. I should just be happy because I actually accomplished writing a novel. For my next book I’m going to try and see if I can actually get an agent for. I’m excited for it, it’s a lot different then my first novel where it was a thriller, this one is just a fiction book geared for basically anyone.

I’m blessed to have this gift of creativity that I didn’t really know I had. I feel even blessed for people reading my words, it makes me feel so good. They actually took the time out of their lives to read a story that I wrote.

I enjoy what I’m doing but some days I find myself becoming discouraged. I must not let those feelings take over me. If I fall down I need to get right back up, if I get turned down from an agent I will not let that stop me. I will do what I can to keep throwing my novels out there. If I can’t get signed I will be happy that I can at least be on Amazon and sell my novels. A lot of people have dreams and no one should shy away from them, just push yourself harder and you never know what you can accomplish. I couldn’t believe when I wrote my first novel, I printed it out and I thought, “Wow did I write all that?” I was so excited. Tons of pages and tons of words on those pages.

Follow your dreams! You are what you make yourself.

M.