September Blues

This is the worst September I ever had to deal with in my life…

On September 1st, I thought my life just went up 110%. I found out I was pregnant. I never thought I could get pregnant. My husband and I have tried for over 4 years and never anything. We decided to do the fertility way and do some hormones, and all that did was make my periods a hundred times worse. We stopped doing the hormones and stopped trying all together. That was back in January.

When August came, I realized that I was late. I was due for my monthly on July 18th. I just thought it was a fluke thing, I didn’t think anything more about it. By mid August, I started feeling weird. Dizzy, nauseated, and my boobs were hurting. I thought well maybe I’ll just take a test to be on the safe side. It came out negative. I’m like okay then, my periods are usually pretty whacky anyway. I put it in the back of my mind.

When September 1st came around, I woke up feeling okay. It wasn’t until a few hours later that I started feeling pretty terrible. I felt dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out. I went out to breakfast and went out afterwards and I just felt out of it. I had to make a Target run to get a few things, and while I was there I had a dizzy spell. I almost passed out. I grabbed a few things and another pregnancy test and went home.

I got home and peed on the stick. A few minutes later I was stunned. I couldn’t believe it. The plus sign really threw me off. You should’ve seen me, I’m like no way, no way! I was running around the house like a mad woman. I was so happy and confused at the same time.

I called my husband and I told him. He was shocked and super happy about it. At that moment in time I was supposed to be about 6 or 7 weeks. I called my OB and they wanted to see me the following week, but I decided to call the fertility doctor since I was going through them with the hormones, however, wasn’t using them. They wanted me to come in right away to get a blood test to confirm.

By the afternoon, they called me and it was confirmed. I was pregnant. I let my husband know and my parents. I didn’t really want to tell anyone else, until I knew for sure with the ultrasound. They wanted me to come in a few days later to get one, to see how far along I was.

When that day came, I was so nervous and excited. I couldn’t wait to see what it looked like. My husband and I arrived and I put the gown on and we waited for the doctor to come in. He came in and asked me a ton of questions and what to eat and what not to eat. I laid down on the table and I was ready for the ultrasound. He proceeded and he wasn’t saying anything. I just thought maybe he was concentrating. A few minutes later, he told us that he didn’t see anything. I was shocked, I didn’t think that would be the words that would’ve been coming out of his mouth. I never even thought of that. I was upset, but he said not to give up hope and that he wanted to see me three days later.

Three days later, we went back again, and again I changed into the gown. A different doctor did the ultrasound, and again, he said he saw nothing. With where I was number wise, I should’ve been about 7 weeks and they should’ve seen the baby on the screen. We left heart-broken. They scared me by saying that my pregnancy could be an ectopic pregnancy. I was a nervous wreck and freaked out, thinking this thing could kill me. They wanted to wait a couple more days and draw blood.

Later on I get a phone call that my numbers were excellent. So that gave me some spark of hope. They called me to come back in to check again. We both agreed to come back.

My original doctor did the ultrasound and he finally saw something, which looked to be a sac. It was small but it was there, and that gave me some hope. I got more blood work, and he called later telling me that my numbers weren’t good and that he thought this pregnancy wasn’t viable. I needed to come back again! So we went back again, and the sac was still there but it was so tiny. It didn’t grow. He proceeded to tell me that the good news it was in the uterus and not ectopic, but the bad news, its not a viable pregnancy. My mom was with me at this time, and she was so excited. Her face dropped when he said that. We both left there upset.

My next step was to come in and fill out papers to take a medicine that was inserted to bring on a miscarriage. At this point, I wanted to get this over with. I felt like I’ve been through the wringer. I inserted the medicine a few days ago, and it took about 7 hours for it to kick in. I had really bad cramps and I started bleeding. I’m thinking that this is it. I have a whole day of bleeding and cramps. The doctor tells me to come in to make sure everything has passed.

So I go in, and guess what? It didn’t work! I’m like this shit is a pain in the ass. So now I’ll have to get a D&C. They told me I can take the pills again, but I feel like that’s such a waste of time. I just want to get this over with. I feel like shit, and I’m so tired. This makes me not even want to have any kids, because of this experience. All I’ve received was bad news.

This was really personal to me, but I wanted to share this experience, because I’m sure there are other women that are going through this. It hurts a lot to know the your baby isn’t viable, but it hurts more when you’re carrying it around. I know there are women out there that have it worse then me. There are women that find out there baby has no heartbeat and there about 5 months or more into their pregnancy.

That’s all I have to say right now…I’ll update later when everything is done.


I swear by this…

I have to get this off my chest. It’s something wonderful don’t worry. Since February, I’ve been having this annoying issue with my mouth. I had thrush and it was off and on since February. I thought it was super strange that I kept on getting it. At the time I had a massive sinus infection. So on Super Bowl Sunday, when the Eagles were playing the Patriots, I dragged my husband to Urgent Care. I felt god awful and had a fever. They said at that time I had thrush and possibly the flu. They wouldn’t test me for the flu though because it was expensive. They gave me a prescription for the thrush and they gave me me Tamiflu. I ended up not taking the Tamiflu because I didn’t believe I had the flu. So I took the thrush medicine and it was cleared. The sinus infection wasn’t going away, so I went to my regular family doctor. They gave me a Z-pack and sent me on my merry way. I took the medicine and and when it was finished, I was fine for a couple days but the sinus infection came back.

I went back to the doctor and they gave me amoxicillin. I started taking that and soon after the thrush returned. I told the doctor and he gave me a pill form. However, I was taking heavy duty probiotics and my thrush went away. After I was done with the amoxicillin I started having issues with my stomach, which if people take amoxicillin then they know it can disturb your digestive system. The thrush came back yet again! At this point I was getting really frustrated, because I was in pain. So then I decided to take the pill form medication for the thrush. It didn’t really work, it just kept it at bay.

By this time I was super frustrated. The doctor told me that I should get some blood work done, because they were concerned. I’m a HUGE hypochondriac and of course I started freaking out. I did however, get the blood work done. That was two weeks ago. I have an appointment this week to discuss but I know there is nothing wrong because of the portal. The blood work was pretty much normal, so I don’t really have anything to worry about. At this point, I didn’t know why I kept on getting the thrush.

A week ago, I felt like shit. My mouth was in pain, meaning not my teeth, it was the thrush.


My mom contacted my aunt who is really into homeopathic remedies. She told my mom about oil pulling. Which you swish a specific oil, in my case MCT oil in your mouth for twenty minutes. I must tell you after I did that. I felt instant relief. I started taking a candida supplement which is a godsend. My mouth has done a complete 180 and I feel great. The MCT oil you also take 1 tablespoon a day. I do that as well, I make sure I eat something before I do so, because it can make your stomach uncomfortable.

My thrush was all cleared but there is still something going in there. I went to a dentist that my parents go to and he checked my mouth and saw nothing. Please note: He didn’t take X-rays. He referred me to an oral surgeon since he didn’t see anything. So I go to the oral surgeon, and again he didn’t take any x-rays. He looked all around my mouth and he said there’s nothing going on. I would think that all these dentists and doctors would at least take an x-ray to rule out anything. It’s like if you have a sore arm, your primary doctor would ask you to get an x-ray. It’s just weird. So now this week I have another appointment with a completely different dentist who has great reviews. Hopefully he’ll take x-rays, which I’m sure they will.

The MCT oil however, is definitely making me feel 99% better. If I didn’t have this weird taste in one part of my mouth I would be completely 100! Hopefully soon I will be. Maybe all I need is a cleaning, it’s been about a year so I’m overdue. Just tired of mouth issues.

Oh and before I forget, the thrush that I was getting all the time is because of stress. I am overwhelmed in my life by various things and the candida I was diagnosed with caused the thrush to happen. I’m trying to manage my stress. I just wanted to let you know MCT oil really does work, it’s a miracle. Without it I would be in terrible shape.

MCT is derived from Coconut oil. It is really beneficial to your health and can do some good for you and your body. It’s good for your digestion and it’s even good for weight management among other things. I’m grateful that my aunt recommended this to me.



Nostril Breathing

A few years ago before I got married I was a stressful mess. I was so worried about money and about paying for the wedding my husband and I were going to have. 6 months before I got married something happened to me that freaked me out. I started having heart racing. I went to the ER and they said it was just stress. They gave me something to calm down and sent me home. A couple days later it returned again. I would be up half the night freaking out which made the heart racing even worse. One morning I called my mom and told her I needed to go back to the ER. We went and this time they kept me over night. They did all these tests on me and determined the issue was stress/anxiety again. They said I need to stop drinking caffeine and relax. They gave me Xanax and sent me home the next day.

My point of this story is that here it is a few years later and I haven’t had any issues with the heart racing since. I started doing yoga three years ago and because of that I think it played a major part in helping me with my stress. In yoga we started this thing called alternate nostril breathing. It’s when you hold your thumb to one nostril and you inhale in the other nostril and then you exhale. Then you repeat on the other side, close the other nostril and inhale and exhale. When I did this it really helped me. If I start getting an episode which I rarely do, I do this and it really helps. I actually swear by it.

Anxiety and panic attacks are no joke! I would do anything or try anything to help me out!