Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

In My Mind..

I have to be honest, I’m comfortable in my own skin. I really hate talking about this and even put this out there for the world to see but I feel like I let myself go-and not in a good way. I mean with weight gain. I feel gross–mind you I’m not overweight but I could stand to lose about 20 lbs but I don’t really know how to go about doing it. I feel like I’m getting lazy and it doesn’t help that I have a job where I sit all day. I do however, do yoga a few times a week but that’s not enough. I used to jog but my knee was really bothering me so I had to stop. I started to just walk but then I got bored with it. I just received an elliptical from my mom that’s actually hers but she had no room for it so she lent it to me. So far so good with that. I’ll tell you a little bit about myself when it comes to weight.

I was always a pretty skinny person, not extremely skinny. I was a little curvy I guess you can say. But when I started going through puberty I started to gain weight and then I started smoking cigarettes and I a lost a few but nothing really to write home about. It wasn’t until I turned 16 that I got my tonsils out and I lost all weight and I was fairly thin. I weighed about 125 and then I went down to 110. I kept it off for a long time and I was really self conscious about myself. I felt like I had to workout constantly but all I had back then was an elliptical and I used to do that thing like a few times a day. That was how I kept the weight off. I was still smoking to keep myself skinny and to keep my anxiety in check. I started having all these stomach issues and I didn’t know why. I thought I was too young to be dealing with something like that so I went to a gastro doctor and it turned out I had IBS. It’s not a big deal but I ended up going gluten free. I know a lot of people think that’s a joke and it does nothing for you but for me it was a god send. After I stopped eating gluten I felt better, like a million times better. I had all this energy and my face cleared up and the best part I wasn’t having stomach issues anymore. People thought I was nuts but hey I didn’t care what people thought, it worked for me.

So fast forward a few years I met my husband and I quit smoking. He’s the complete opposite then me when it comes to food. I was trying and trying to stay gluten free but with him it was hard. He wanted things that I couldn’t have. I’m not saying it was his fault, I should’ve been stronger. I gave up and started eating gluten but a miraculous thing happened, I felt cured. I could eat anything I wanted and I was fine. The problem was I was starting to eat like shit. No more salads and now I was eating bread. When I was gluten free I didn’t have any pasta or bread. It was a few years before I had any of that stuff. My go to meal when I was gluten free was rice and tuna. Not together lol that would’ve been disgusting. I can’t even look at tuna the same way again, I can eat it in a hoagie but in a can: forget it. I ate so much, it was the best thing in the world to me. It was the one thing that I couldn’t part with. So anyway sorry I went off track, my weight started to go up. It was very slow because my metabolism was pretty fast. I think it still is but not as fast as when I was in my 20’s. Now fast forward a few years and I’m living at home with my husband and I feel like shit. Mind you I don’t eat fast food, I think that’s disgusting but I like hoagies and pizza and things like that so that doesn’t help. I don’t feel like working out anymore andI just sit on the couch.

As I sit here today, I’m like pissed at myself for doing this to myself. I shouldn’t be eating take out all the time. It’s definitely not healthy but money plays a huge role in why we don’t actually have food in the house which is another story that I won’t get in. I used to have abs and I felt so healthy and I was a size two and now forget that, I feel like shit and I’m like a size 6. What the hell happened? I have to make some changes and soon because at this rate depression is going to take over.

I apologize for the rant but thank you for reading.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Inspiration

I’m so glad that I can be an inspiration to someone. Nothing makes me feel better about myself then knowing that I’m doing something right in my life. By writing my book and publishing it on Amazon I encouraged a few people to write their own books and publish them. Sometimes life doesn’t go as you planned, it throws you a few curve balls now and then but when you find what you’ve been looking for and find the purpose of your life it just makes you feel amazing.

I wasn’t going to put this out there but I feel like it will push me more. I recently submitted my new novel to an agent and it was turned down. She said she liked it and considered it but the way the market was she wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea. I know hearing those words hurt at that moment but it just pushes me harder to find someone that will be the perfect person. I know that my new novel is going to be a big seller, I can feel it.

My husband said to me yesterday, “You know ever since you’ve been writing, I’ve never seen you happier.” He’s got a point there, I never been happier, this is like my happy place. Maybe my books won’t ever sell to their capacity but the point is that I wrote them. They are nobody else’s but mine. I put a lot of work into them and my thoughts and creativity are put on paper for everyone to see. I am proud of that fact.

Thank you all so much for reading and the support.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Just Happy..

In thinking about what I could write today or these past few days I found it hard to come up with something. I like to try and be positive but some days it’s hard. My book on Amazon isn’t selling as much as I hoped it would’ve but I have to expect that, I’m an unknown author who is just starting out. I should just be happy because I actually accomplished writing a novel. For my next book I’m going to try and see if I can actually get an agent for. I’m excited for it, it’s a lot different then my first novel where it was a thriller, this one is just a fiction book geared for basically anyone.

I’m blessed to have this gift of creativity that I didn’t really know I had. I feel even blessed for people reading my words, it makes me feel so good. They actually took the time out of their lives to read a story that I wrote.

I enjoy what I’m doing but some days I find myself becoming discouraged. I must not let those feelings take over me. If I fall down I need to get right back up, if I get turned down from an agent I will not let that stop me. I will do what I can to keep throwing my novels out there. If I can’t get signed I will be happy that I can at least be on Amazon and sell my novels. A lot of people have dreams and no one should shy away from them, just push yourself harder and you never know what you can accomplish. I couldn’t believe when I wrote my first novel, I printed it out and I thought, “Wow did I write all that?” I was so excited. Tons of pages and tons of words on those pages.

Follow your dreams! You are what you make yourself.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Feeling Excited

I just wanted to write today about the new novel I’m working on. I’m super excited about this one and I am not giving it away. I feel more inspired this time around with writing. I feel like the words are just pouring out of me. I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced this before but I’m really loving it.

Today I wrote a ton of pages and I felt like I couldn’t stop, but I finally took a break. Lately writing for me has been hard, I was having little inspiration. Yesterday’s blog post I wrote of 9/11 and ever since then I guess I feel like I woke up. I needed something to kick me in the ass to get me motivated. I’m here and breathing and healthy and I need to live, if that means writing then so be it. I come to realize that writing is my thing, I love it. If I can express myself then I will do so. I never imagined that this is where I would be in my life, but things happen for a reason and that’s the path that you walk down. I will continue to do what I love to do.

I feel like I got a lot accomplished on this book and I feel really good about it, which is all that matters. If I wrote this book and I was dissatisfied then I would have to scrap it but I feel something inside me that is amazing. It’s like a flower blooming inside my chest, a world that opened up for me. That’s why I’m excited! Thanks to all you wonderful people for reading my blog and I hope you get the chance to read my first novel called Not Alone on Amazon. Just type in the search box my name Melissa Rose Bushey, I found that was a lot easier then putting in the title because there are apparently a lot of books called Not Alone. A Novel. 🙂

Much love everyone!

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Valentine’s Day

So it’s that time of year for candy, sweet gifts, and love if your in a relationship with someone. But hey if you have friends that you love you can also share it with them. I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in about this holiday. It’s every girls dream to have flowers delivered and all that romantic stuff but I wanted to take a minute to say something strange. I don’t know maybe I’m weird but as I was thinking about today something made me think of 9/11 and I have no idea why.

I was sitting here thinking  of what to write about for my daily blog and 9/11 swept through me. I went on YouTube and saw a documentary about that horrific day and I watched it. I felt horrible and saddened by the events that took place. I know today is supposed to be a happy day of love and kisses and puppies but I don’t know I just felt something wash over me with 9/11. I have no idea what that means, but it gave me a moment to reflect on that day. It made me think of the people that died on that day and the people that lost someone that was involved whether it was the World Trade Center or the planes that went down.

Maybe instead of thinking what I could be getting from the hubby, I should be thinking about other people instead, of what people lost. I’m definitely not trying to be a Debbie downer, I’m really not. It’s just strange for something like that to pop into my head like that and now it’s stuck in my head. All those people trapped in that building and they couldn’t get out and the only thing that some of them could think of was throwing themselves off.

Okay I’m done with that, that was totally depressing and I wasn’t trying to be. That was just running through my mind. Please try and enjoy your Valentine’s Day people. Think romantic and funny and cute and amazing thoughts. Much love to each and every one of you!

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author · 1 Comment

Change

Do you welcome change? I honestly think for me it depends, I change my hair all the time, I don’t know why,I just do and I like it. But changing things like jobs, houses, things basically that are major life changes now that kind of scares me. There were things I could’ve changed a few times but because I have this fear of change I didn’t. I know I should get out of my comfort zone. There is a strange thing that is about me where I don’t like change but I am very impulsive. So it’s funny how I hate change but can change something in an instant but realize hey that’s not what I want and then I change it quickly. If you ask anyone that knows me pretty well they would say, “Yes she’s definitely impulsive, changes her mind all the time.” I don’t know what my deal is. 

So I just wanted to do a short little blog today just asking how people deal with change. Do they just do it, do they work up to it, do they not even do it? I’m just kind of curious because with me I feel like change makes me crazy but at the same time it makes me feel better. I change my living room around all the time, just ask my husband. He comes home and is like again. A few months back I changed my bedroom from upstairs to downstairs, loved it for a minute and then had to change it back to upstairs, I think my husband was going to kill me hahaha. 

Anyways I know today is Monday and they are the worst. Who made weekends only two days? I’m like who can seriously deal with that, but we have to. Okay I’m starting to go off on a rant so I’ll end it here. 

Have a fast and easy going Monday everyone!!

M.