Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Goal

I know it’s been awhile since I wrote anything on my blog but I’m still here. My mood reflects my writing so this won’t be the most positive post. I haven’t had the ability to continue writing the sequel to my second book because I lack ambition. Hopefully I can get it back because it’s not fun being down and not able to focus. All I can think about is everything else that’s going on in my life. 

I’m trying hard to promote my book. I was so happy that my yoga studio allowed me to put my books in their boutique. When I went there last night, one was sold. I was really happy! Things like that make me really happy and in all honestly I want to make people smile and feel good. My books are on smashwords and Amazon and they’re on Goodreads. I am happy that they’re both out there but I hope one day I’ll be successful and reach my goal of becoming a full time novelist. That’s my real passion. But for right now I’ll do what I can to get it out there!

M. 

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author · 2 Comments

To be honest..

Everyday is different, I could feel fine one day and the next be depressed. My life is pretty normal, I get up, go to work, and then I go home relax. If I’m lucky go to a yoga class, I go home and then I go to bed. It’s the same thing day in and day out. Of course I squeeze writing in there somewhere because I don’t feel right without it. Today I just feel blah, straight up blah. I just want to crawl in bed and never come out. There are things in my life that are going on that I can’t really discuss because they are too personal but they are dragging me down. I want to be an accomplished writer and everyday I write to a dozen agents and some email back telling me I really enjoyed your story but it’s not for me. Others don’t even bother to even reply, which I totally get. They’re incredibly busy. If I could just have one thing go right in my life I would be super happy. But it just seems like one thing after another is falling apart. I feel like I’m at my breaking point with everything, my faith these days are at an all time low.

I’m sorry some of you will probably be like I hope she’s okay. Yes I’m fine and I will be fine. Sometimes I just need to vent. Today it’s just getting to me and everyone that is smiling at me I just want to punch in the face, I know it’s not funny, but it’s kind of funny. I looked at the calendar today and I graduated 17 years ago today. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was so excited to start my journey to adulthood. Now I sit here and I’m not where I thought I would be. I thought I would have an amazing career and be sitting pretty with a successful husband and maybe a couple kids. Today I don’t have an amazing career and my husband isn’t successful, although he’s doing what he loves, and I still don’t have any kids. Maybe that’s a good thing. I know they say it’s never to late to start a career but eh really? I’m in my 30’s, I want to be a writer, it’s all I want to do. It’s hard though, really hard. I know things take time but how much time because some days I feel like I’m drowning.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Some fun..

Hey there everyone! So I wanted to let y’all know that I decided to try something with my book on Amazon which is called Braver Than Yesterday. I decided for a limited time to do a promotion where the kindle version is free. So if you want to take a look at it please do! This is my very first novel and I’m so excited about it.

I finally wrapped up my second novel but I didn’t put it out there yet because it’s still in the process of editing and also I’m trying to look for an agency that will take me under their wing, which let me tell you is not easy. My second novel is very different then the first one but I absolutely love it. Right now I’m actually working on the sequel to the second novel and while writing that book I’m currently gathering ideas and writing a completely different book. So the thoughts and ideas are coming at me and it’s been a lot of fun.

In other news: rehearsals are still going on and it’s a lot of work but it’s interesting. We finally received the schedules for when we will be on. There are a total of 16 shows and I will be in 12 of them because there are A and B casts. I am really busy these days but that’s a good thing. Just have to make time for working out in between.

So anyway please check out my novel Braver Than Yesterday on kindle for a limited time for free!! I would appreciate it. If you read it please leave a review, it helps! Thanks y’all!

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Down..

I know it’s been a few days since I wrote about my rehearsal experience. Thursday night was canceled so I didn’t have anything to report and my weekend was just crazy. So I’ll start with Friday night:

So I’m really excited because they started placing people in spots and where they put me was directly in center. I’m like okay this is great, I’m where all the action is. They didn’t tell me what I should be doing, so I just sat there. You would think they would be like, “Hey can you look at the actors that are talking on stage or hey can you act like your the stenographer,” which that’s what was I assigned. So we go through the rehearsal a few times and finally it’s time to go home and I was beat. Granted I did have a glass of wine before rehearsal because hey it’s Friday and I worked all day and wanted to have some downtime. Anyway I was excited because I was down in the center. Until the next day…

Saturday comes and we have rehearsal from 2 to 6. I’m kind of excited because you know my part is in the front where all the action is. So we sign in and we get started and they told us to get in our places and we do. We sit down and all of a sudden they say, “I want to make some changes. You get in the back.” Which they were referring to me. I was so disappointed and pissed off. They never gave me a reason why they moved me. So I went from front row to all the way in the back where you can’t even see me. Needless to say I was feeling pretty pissed off and it hurt a little but I guess that shit happens.

Sunday comes and I’m dreading to go. We have to be there from 11-6 and it was going to be a long day. I knew going in there that it was going to blow. A million times I wanted to get up and walk out and thought hey they is BS. Oh I forgot to mention, Saturday night I emailed the assistant director asking why I was moved and he never emailed me back. I was waiting on Sunday to see if he would say anything to me but nothing ever came. When lunch break came I was steaming, I needed a drink and yes I had one. Maybe I’m acting like a child I don’t know but I was just so mad. My husband was telling me that I’m making a big deal out of it and that it wasn’t personal, but to be honest it felt personal. Especially if they didn’t even give me a reason. If I was doing something wrong I really would’ve liked to know so I could’ve fixed it. But hey maybe that’s the acting world.

After that weekend I’ve been feeling depressed. My book isn’t selling and I haven’t heard from any agents regarding my book. I try to not get discouraged but come on, I feel like I’m having all these bad things that aren’t going my way so it’s hard to stay positive. I love to write it’s my passion but sometimes I sit and think why am I here on this earth, is there a purpose? Sorry I’m just venting. I’ll stop here. Thanks for listening!

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Rehearsal Day

Yesterday was my first rehearsal for the show. It was an experience. We pulled up and parked the car and walked up to the studio and opened the door. The heat whipped me right in the face. I swear it had to be like 95 degrees in the green room and we were forced to stay there for a good 15 mins along with a group of about 30 people. I thought I was going to die. Finally the door opened to the rehearsal room and we all piled in and this room was much cooler (thank God). Every chair was lined up in rows and that was for the ensemble. The chairs in the middle which were shaped like a square, were for the main actors. Our chairs all had folders on them with our names on them so we took a seat and waited for whatever was going to happen next. The director came out and said to us “you need to move your chairs so you can form around the actors” and so we did. After that was finished we sat down and we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves. Then the readings began, now I forgot to mention the asst. director came up to us and assigned some of us parts for the play just for temporary. So we’re sitting there listening to the actors do their lines and they are wonderful. Their accents are spot on and it seemed like they were doing this forever.

An hour flew by and we took a break. We were told to go over to the actual theater which was literally a skip, hop, and a jump. We arrived and there are a lot of people there. There was the cast, the people who run the whole thing and people off the street that dedicate their lives to seeing the shows and meeting the cast. They call this the meet and greet and it was very interesting. I didn’t even know that these things exist. I’m talking to people and it’s enjoyable, I have a glass of wine which made it a little more enjoyable. Then all of a sudden they tell us to go inside the theater and take a seat. The director says a few words and then we’re told to stand up and stand in front of the stage. We had to introduce ourselves to everyone which I was little nervous about but I managed. We did a Q & A session where the crowd could ask questions. 10 minutes later we went back to the rehearsal studio and sat down reading the rest of the script. I’m waiting for my turn to speak and the part never comes. I’m thinking what the hell, I thought they gave us a part. But no nothing of the sort. I was kind of pissed because I sat there for all that time and nothing. I wasn’t expecting a huge part or anything but it was almost like what am I even doing here then. It felt kind of pointless. I guess I’ll find out what happens tonight. We actually have to meet with a dialect coach because we have to learn a British accent. Don’t worry tomorrow I will continue and tell you the details of this experience. I really want to share with all of you.

9 o’clock finally came and we were allowed to depart. I was happy to finally getting out of there, I think I was freaking out all the way home to my mom. Today I’m trying to remain positive and that this will last only for 6 weeks. I have to keep that in mind. It’s just taking a lot of time. Which means no yoga, working out, cleaning my house, etc. I feel like life is put on hold for now until this is over. My writing is even put on hold which I hate to even think about it. It just gives me so much pleasure but in between work and rehearsals I don’t have the time. Anyways I will talk to you all tomorrow about tonight’s adventure.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

In My Mind..

I have to be honest, I’m comfortable in my own skin. I really hate talking about this and even put this out there for the world to see but I feel like I let myself go-and not in a good way. I mean with weight gain. I feel gross–mind you I’m not overweight but I could stand to lose about 20 lbs but I don’t really know how to go about doing it. I feel like I’m getting lazy and it doesn’t help that I have a job where I sit all day. I do however, do yoga a few times a week but that’s not enough. I used to jog but my knee was really bothering me so I had to stop. I started to just walk but then I got bored with it. I just received an elliptical from my mom that’s actually hers but she had no room for it so she lent it to me. So far so good with that. I’ll tell you a little bit about myself when it comes to weight.

I was always a pretty skinny person, not extremely skinny. I was a little curvy I guess you can say. But when I started going through puberty I started to gain weight and then I started smoking cigarettes and I a lost a few but nothing really to write home about. It wasn’t until I turned 16 that I got my tonsils out and I lost all weight and I was fairly thin. I weighed about 125 and then I went down to 110. I kept it off for a long time and I was really self conscious about myself. I felt like I had to workout constantly but all I had back then was an elliptical and I used to do that thing like a few times a day. That was how I kept the weight off. I was still smoking to keep myself skinny and to keep my anxiety in check. I started having all these stomach issues and I didn’t know why. I thought I was too young to be dealing with something like that so I went to a gastro doctor and it turned out I had IBS. It’s not a big deal but I ended up going gluten free. I know a lot of people think that’s a joke and it does nothing for you but for me it was a god send. After I stopped eating gluten I felt better, like a million times better. I had all this energy and my face cleared up and the best part I wasn’t having stomach issues anymore. People thought I was nuts but hey I didn’t care what people thought, it worked for me.

So fast forward a few years I met my husband and I quit smoking. He’s the complete opposite then me when it comes to food. I was trying and trying to stay gluten free but with him it was hard. He wanted things that I couldn’t have. I’m not saying it was his fault, I should’ve been stronger. I gave up and started eating gluten but a miraculous thing happened, I felt cured. I could eat anything I wanted and I was fine. The problem was I was starting to eat like shit. No more salads and now I was eating bread. When I was gluten free I didn’t have any pasta or bread. It was a few years before I had any of that stuff. My go to meal when I was gluten free was rice and tuna. Not together lol that would’ve been disgusting. I can’t even look at tuna the same way again, I can eat it in a hoagie but in a can: forget it. I ate so much, it was the best thing in the world to me. It was the one thing that I couldn’t part with. So anyway sorry I went off track, my weight started to go up. It was very slow because my metabolism was pretty fast. I think it still is but not as fast as when I was in my 20’s. Now fast forward a few years and I’m living at home with my husband and I feel like shit. Mind you I don’t eat fast food, I think that’s disgusting but I like hoagies and pizza and things like that so that doesn’t help. I don’t feel like working out anymore andI just sit on the couch.

As I sit here today, I’m like pissed at myself for doing this to myself. I shouldn’t be eating take out all the time. It’s definitely not healthy but money plays a huge role in why we don’t actually have food in the house which is another story that I won’t get in. I used to have abs and I felt so healthy and I was a size two and now forget that, I feel like shit and I’m like a size 6. What the hell happened? I have to make some changes and soon because at this rate depression is going to take over.

I apologize for the rant but thank you for reading.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Feeling..

There is really no feeling like printing out your manuscript and feel the warmth in your fingertips. I start leafing through and flipping the pages and feel the air in my face. It just feels so wonderful to know that I created these words and I put them down on paper. With my second novel done I decided to make it a series. I’m very excited and super blessed to have this amazing gift. I never thought my mind would wander as much as it does. I have quite the imagination and so happy I get to toy around with ideas. Doing a series never really crossed my mind but when it did I thought eh I don’t know if I really want to do this, but as I thought about it today I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to do one.

I’m grateful for everyone here that reads my blogs and comments and likes my blogs. I feel honored to make someone’s day a little happier and brighter. I love reading blogs of inspiration–it makes me feel more amazing and it makes me feel stronger then I have before.

I want other people to know that inspiration can come in any forms. From seeing something that makes you think wow I can do that or from words that someone says. It’s a truly good feeling that there are people still left in the world that want to make YOU feel better and help you accomplish your goals. Don’t let anyone stop you! If you feel strong about something go for it and if it knocks you down, brush it off and continue on.

Thanks for reading everyone!

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Inspiration

I’m so glad that I can be an inspiration to someone. Nothing makes me feel better about myself then knowing that I’m doing something right in my life. By writing my book and publishing it on Amazon I encouraged a few people to write their own books and publish them. Sometimes life doesn’t go as you planned, it throws you a few curve balls now and then but when you find what you’ve been looking for and find the purpose of your life it just makes you feel amazing.

I wasn’t going to put this out there but I feel like it will push me more. I recently submitted my new novel to an agent and it was turned down. She said she liked it and considered it but the way the market was she wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea. I know hearing those words hurt at that moment but it just pushes me harder to find someone that will be the perfect person. I know that my new novel is going to be a big seller, I can feel it.

My husband said to me yesterday, “You know ever since you’ve been writing, I’ve never seen you happier.” He’s got a point there, I never been happier, this is like my happy place. Maybe my books won’t ever sell to their capacity but the point is that I wrote them. They are nobody else’s but mine. I put a lot of work into them and my thoughts and creativity are put on paper for everyone to see. I am proud of that fact.

Thank you all so much for reading and the support.

M.

Posted on by Melissa Rose Bushey: Author

Sometimes ya have to…

Sometimes you have to forget the bullshit and just go with the flow. Stop listening to what people tell you because it could make you feel even worse. 

Lately people have been saying things to me and they think that it makes me feel good when really it makes me feel like shit. When those people say these things to me I feel like they’re pushing me away which in reality I could care less, they’re not really important people in my life. Just people giving me their opinions which I consider but in the end you should listen to what your intuition tells you. 

So something else happened this morning, I thought I lost my flash drive with all my writing on it. I know what you’re thinking, how come I don’t save it to like a million other places incase this happens? I believe I will now because I was freaking out. I was writing this weekend and I left my flash drive on the desk, this morning I went to grab it and it was gone. I’m like you gotta be kidding me. I started throwing things around and then I picked up my couches, yes I picked them up, my adrenaline was pumping so hard I didn’t care or realize what I was actually doing until I spotted the flash drive under the one couch. I crawled on the ground and I grabbed that shit hahaha. I’m like oh my precious, I’ll never let you out of my sight again 🙂 

So that’s my little story today and I know the two things I wrote about are completely different from one another but I wanted to write what I felt like today. Because hey that’s what I do. 

Have a good day y’all!

M.