So in all honesty who truly is happy? Is it the neighbor next door that’s jogging around the neighborhood, the person you bump into at the store buying milk, or could it be someone at your job?
I have to be honest, I have been on this earth for some time now and I really haven’t remembered the last time I was truly happy. I mean yeah I smile a lot and laugh but deep down inside something was truly missing. I love my family, I love my husband, I love my fur babies but does all that make me happy? In a way yes it does, but not 100%. I come to realize that today for the first time since I’m not sure when, I am happy. I can say for absolute certainty I feel giddy and I feel extremely happy. I’m seriously not one of those people that are always so happy go lucky. This is actually a change for me. If you ask anyone that I know they will tell you, I’m always so miserable and I complain a lot. Today though something changed inside me, is it because I dropped my classes and knew that writing was the path I wanted to go down? Honestly I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with it.
I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this but for some reason I felt like I needed to do it tonight. I had this burning in my mind so I thought no better time then the present. Have you ever just thought what you wanted in life is something completely different then what you actually want? That’s exactly how I feel right now. I painted this picture in my head that I wanted to be a psychologist and that I wanted to sit in a chair and listen to people tell me their issues and I could help them figure out what they needed, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought, I don’t think that’s for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for giving advice, but to tell someone what they should do, I don’t think I could do that. I want to write, I want my voice to be heard. I have such a creative mind that thoughts sometimes run wild on me. I want to be able to put that on paper and run away with it, I want people to look at those words and get lost in them. It’s my only dream and wish. Before I started to write, I read books like there is no tomorrow and my favorite part about them was getting lost in them. Being pulled into a book and feeling what the characters are feeling is something that I’ll never forget and I want to put that same feeling into somebody else.
That’s all for tonight, I will leave you with that. Have a good night everyone!